Everyday Musings

I can't be that bad after all.

2011-12-04T18:05:00.000-08:00

It is not very easy to take negative feedback. It takes tons of patience and the ability to be objective even though your heart is racing and pounding , waiting to scream out loud that you are being persecuted and that you are the best ever in anything you do. the later is almost impossible, cause you can only strive to be best. But once the racing and pounding is over and you settle down a little bit, objectivity becomes more approachable and peace has a chance of reigning.

Still taking in negative criticism is just not easy. Sometimes i think its because of the overachievers that we have grown to become. We have this vision what we should be when we are 25, 30 years old and as those days come closer ( a painful reality) failure seems even more harder to handle.

It becomes more important now than ever to tell oneself that it is okay to fail once in a while It is alright that someone thinks you are not good enough, because all that is going to make you do is be the best at what you do. the one lesson if any that i have learnt after hours and hours of anger and heart break is, if you know you have done the best job that you can, nothing else matters. I could go all spiritual and quote Gita, but then you already know that.

Karma is not always a bitch. You get what you deserve. Atleast I believe I will.

Writing

2011-10-10T09:48:00.001-07:00

Its time to pull up the socks and do the things that really matter.

Paper and pen,here I come.

Frustration's Frustration

2011-06-21T00:46:00.000-07:00

I would like to throw something, to vent the frustration. However my iPhone is too expensive, the laptop too heavy, the waterbottle, well it has water and I have to clean the mess if it spills, the TV remote would be a bad one cause then I will be left without television, talk about punishing oneself,the book, well, I just love them too much to throw them with a vengence. that leaves me with my hair crispee. It makes for a pathetic show of frustration. My frustration is frustrated.

Ah! Problems

Taming the heart

2011-06-07T23:56:00.000-07:00

The problem as I have discovered is this desire to do everything,try everything. While it could be a great trait, it most often than not interferes or so I think. When I am painting, I want to stitch and when I am stitching I have this great idea for a story and when I am writing, I want to try this new baking recipe and when I am baking, well you get the drift.

Its this love to learn and do so many different things that is not letting me be perfect in one thing. I am not sure if I should focus on killing this trait to be more focussed on say a few things. Or maybe I should stage my interests. First 3 months, write, then learn to paint.

I dont know. Its one of those days. Introspection sucks

Hocus Focus

2010-12-05T20:27:00.000-08:00

Never have I realized the importance of concentration as I do now. Back in school, not concentrating was almost fun. It was fun to play tic tac toe in class when the chemistry teacher was trying her best to make 15 year olds understand organic chemistry. Talk about futile attempts.There was a sense of smug attitude that it could be learnt easily if I spent half an hour at home.

But now, before I can get one task done, I find myself doing all sorts of random things, from facebook, to gmail to twitter to random browsing. It is almost like these things come to my mind only when I sit in front of my laptop trying to get something done. I have never missed concentration more.

Dad says try crossword. That is quickly becoming my last resort.

Chocolate Snake Cake

2010-07-31T22:20:00.000-07:00

Eggless Vanilla Cake with Double Chocolate Coconut Frosting

Recently I have taken to baking in a big way, generally because its a lot of fun and its a great excercise in patience that I oh! so lack. I must however credit much of the interest to my room mate. My interest started when I first saw her make a chocolate cake . Since then I have taken baby steps in making cakes and cookies. I am no where close to being awesome like some of my friends. However I want to think I am getting better. I recently made a vanilla cake with chocolate coconut frosting in the shape of a cake for a birthday party. Here is the receipe.

Egg-less Vanilla Cake:

Ingredients:
1 1/2 cup + 2 tbsp - Plain Flour
2 tsp Baking Powder
1 tsp Baking Soda
1 tin (400 gm) Condensed Milk
1 stick Butter
3/4 cup Milk
4 tbsp Yogurt
2 tsp Vanilla Extract

In a mixing bowl, mix the flour, baking powder and baking soda. Mix it well. In another bowl, mix butter, condensed milk, yogurt, vanilla extract and milk. Mix it well to make sure there are no lumps. Add the flour mixture to the liquid mixture little by little. Each time beating it well to make sure there are no lumps.

I used a 9 inch cake pan, it however was a little small. So I suggest using a 10 inch cake pan . It is generally suggested to fill the cake pan 3/4th full, so that there is enough space for the cake to rise.Grease the cake pan well. This is important to make sure the cake does not stick to the pan. Grease it well and you can also use waxing paper after greasing. Pour the cake mix in to it. Set the over to 150C and bake for one hour.
Your cake is done when a toothpick comes out clean from the center of the cake.

Let the cake cool for 10 -15 minutes. Turn it over in to a turntable or a flat surface.Let the cake cool for 10-15 minutes.

Snake Shape:

To get the snake shape, make a circle in the cake using any container top.Press it in to form the impression. Using a knife dipped in hot water, cut along the impression you made. Once this is done. Make horizontal cuts on the hollow cake to get two semi circles. Now you have all the pieces needed for the cake. Refrigerate the cake before you frost it. This is important so that the frosting sticks to the cake.

Thin layer of chocolate frosting:

You can totally skip this if you want to go for just one layer of frosting.

Ingredients
2 pints low fat whipping cream
3 tablespoons cocoa powder
1 1/2 cups confectioner's sugar
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp coconut extract

Mix the whipping cream and cocoa powder and sugar together. Beat to make sure there aren't any lumps. Use less whipping cream and add more depending on the consistency. The recipe i followed suggested three pints whipping cream and my frosting became too thin. Once your frosting becomes thin, adding more sugar does not thicken it. So add less whipping cream and add more if the frosting is too thick. Add more/less cocoa and sugar based on how the frosting tastes. Skip the coconut extract if you don't like coconut.

Take the cake out from the refrigerator and after making sure that is not warm anymore, apply the frosting on top of it. Keep the cake in the snake formation and apply frosting all over the cake.Use a spatula for ease. Else use anything that has a flat surface that you can use to spread the frosting. Spread the frosting all over the cake. Refrigerate again. I actually let it stay overnight. You don't have to.

Second layer of chocolate frosting

Ingredients:
1 1/2 cup confectioner's sugar
2-3 tbsp cocoa
3 tbsp evaporated milk
3 tbsp butter

Mix them well together to avoid lumps. Mix until you get a creamy mixture. Add more sugar and cocoa to make the frosting thicker if needed. Like the previous time, spread the frosting evenly over the entire cake with a spatula. Use M and M's , jelly beans, gummy worms to complete the look.

Reference:
http://www.divinetaste.com/archives/eggless-vanilla-cake-with-cocoa-butter-frosting/
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Creamy-Chocolate-Frosting/Detail.aspx

Ravannan

2010-06-20T21:21:00.001-07:00

Much as been said about the movie, much more have been read. I am going to keep away from reviewing the movie and rather talk about where the movie worked ,where it could have worked better and why it is going to leave a good after taste.

For starters, I thought the opening credits were brilliant.It just set the tone for what followed next. Though the movie starts with a disclaimer like all other Mani movies, it was clear from the beginning that this was Mani's interpretation of a slice of the great epic, Ramayana.

Going in , I knew what the plot was about, just like one knew what Thalapathi was . Did anyone notice the striking resemblance in locations between Thalapathi and this? Following Nayagan,Thalapathi , in this movie too, Mani makes the bad guy the protogonist and tries to examine the different shades of his character. We all knew Velu Nayakkar was an outlaw,so was Surya and so is Veeraiyya(Vikram). Where Mani succeeds is he steers the audience away from falling in love with his characters, and instead makes them look at the characters from a different lens than the ones they have been using all along.

In ravannan too, you dont end up falling in love with Veeraiya's character. However you can see where his emotions are coming from. He is enraged with his brother -in-law who ditched his sister, his is enraged with Dev, for ruining his sister's wedding, he is furious with the inspector for ruining her life. You see his thirst for revenge and you understand why he kidnapped Dev's wide. His idea of an eye for an eye. Mani sticked to the epic here, though taking it to the extreme side. ( for the uninitiated, in Ramayana, Ravana kidnaps Sita because his sister Shurpanaka's nose and ears were cut off by the short tempered Laxman)

It was Ragini's(Sita) spunk that caught his attention first. Had he been just the usual bad guy who would shoot/stab anyone without a second thought, this probably would not have happened. But Veera isnt. He is yet another robinhood,a goodie at heart refusing to follow the rule of law for doing the good that he believes in. Which is why he is unable to kill Ragini, though he tells his brothers and mates, it would be a matter of 14 minutes, before Ragini is dead.

The more time he spends with her, he realizes he is falling for her. Nothing hard to chew here, we have seen leading men fall for heroines for way less than that. Mani stuck to the epic here too, Ravannan did go to kidnap Sita an act of revenge, but the moment he saw her, he was consumed by her beauty, and wanted her more than anything. The scene where Veera plays with the children while asking her to stay with him was masterclass. I noticed a resemblance to Guna here( did anyone?) .

Was Veera shown in a much better light that he actually was? I dont think so. It was already established that he had in him a streak of badness. Why go in to details about that? Also again going to the epic, Ravanna was a great ruler, he was infact quoted to be the best ruler in Lanka, who took great care of his citizens. He was an extreme devout, a great musician. But we knew he was a bad guy because of the one big mistake he made.Which is exactly why I do not feel, it was necessary to examine the darkness in his character. Why say more when you can say less?

That is what I thought about Dev(Ram) as well. He was a police officer and the good guy in this case, as he is out to vanguish the evil , or the outlaw (Veera). He is pushed to his limits, when Veera kidnaps his own wife. He is cold and calculating, we are left schocked when he tortures Veera's brother -in-law, not Ram like behaviour.Dont get him wrong, he loves his wife and is worried sick of her and her safety. But he is not just satisfied with finding her, he wants to destroy Veera, which explains why he acts the way with Veera's brother(Vibeeshana). That to me was a different take on the Rama we have grown up knowing.

Contrary to many opinions out there, I actually do not think the plot was wafer thin. The plot was a slice of Ramayanam, and the director's exploration of the different shades in the characters. And like the movie's website reads, to ultimately point out that there is a little bit of Ravannan in every Rama and vice versa. Looking at it in that sense, I thought the movie stuck to plot we all have been hearing since we were 3, pretty darn well. Also I thought the characters were well developed.

Ragini is spunky, at least to others, She is scared, as she accepts and calls for help from her beloved, but she wastes no time in telling people what she thinks. She is temperamental and spontaneous, which Dev exploits at the end. She gets to see the softer side of her captor and we dont know if she has a soft spot for him or not, which Mani carefully left to our interpretation.

Veera like the ten headed demon king makes it more than obvious of how confused he is with all the voices in his head. He falls in love with another man's wife and finds himself wanting her love, than just wanting her. So much that when he has an opportunity to end it all , he doesnt. He thinks of her at that moment which proves to be his Achilees heel. Veera even agrees for a truce when accused by his brother of throwing it all away for a woman. Something that Ravannan never did.

Not to mention a different take at the end for the classic "Inru Poi Nalai Vaa". I loved that.

There were some tiny things, attention to detail in the movie that I thought were telling of Mani's brilliance. The scene where Karthik says "Pathuten..." a la "Kanden Sithaiyai" ,how Prabhu seemed to be always handling the affairs of food (Kumbhakarna -What a choice? :) ),and the scene between Veera and Karthik(Hanuman) where it was clear that at some point, it turns in to a clash of ego.

However there were a few things that made me cringe, the need to make Veera an eccentric. It was a Vikram we have seen probably a hundred times, and Karthik for the role of Hanuman. For as much as he was entertaining, he was always Karthik, and never Forrest, the character.

There is nothing I can say that hasn't already been said about the cinematography. Stunning, yes. And yes although Suhasini did a decent job with the dialogues, you couldnt help but wonder what Sujatha would have written. What a loss!

That's it! I thought it was one of the most intelligently done movies in the recent times. I strongly believe despite the early bad reviews, the movie will grow on people and like I said in the beginning leave a good after taste.

Books in 2009

2010-01-31T13:41:00.000-08:00

This is the books post that I have been wanting to do ever since the year dawned. I am finally getting to it now.So a while back I had this post on the books that I wanted to finish this year. Like plans everywhere , I did not stick to it entirely. So here are the list of books that i did manage to gobble up this year.

The Spellman Files - 3 books in all , the 4th is coming out in March:

I was introduced to the world of Spellman's when my friend Shirsh gifted me with the first book in the series. I absolutely loved this series. Its about a dysfunctional family where everyone well almost everyone is a private investigator. it follows the interesting events that happen around the family and is so funny and witty that you do not feel like putting the book down. The characters are well sketched out and Lisa Lutz the author leaves you gasping for more of the Spellman's. I cant wait for the 4th book. If you like fast funny pageturners, this one is for you.

Idle thoughts by Jerome k Jerome:

Jerome K Jerome is an absolute delight to read. I am a huge huge fan of "Three men in a boat". Probably one of the best books ever. So I wanted to read some of his other works. I have heard "Three men in a bummel" is not as funny as TMIAB. So instead I bought "Idle thoughts" which is a collection of essays by JKJ. I was surprised that it was not as funny as I expected it to be. Nevertheless it was a very interesting read. He writes about the various feelings and situations one might get in like "Being in Love", or "Being in the blues" etc and it gives a different perspective.

Dear John by Nicholas Sparks

Like all Nicholas Sparks's books, this one was a romance too. And a nice , neat one at that. Nicholas sparks has a way of making your heart go out for the protagonists even if the story is rife with cliche's. Well written, very well presented but the story is pretty much the plot of most tam movies in the 70's.

Ponniyin Selvan:

When I started reading this book I had no idea how much I was going to fall in love with this series. All i wanted was to read the first two parts this year. But I finished the entire series of five books in a month. I was besotted with it and still am. i have never read any book that has so many events happen in them. It was like an event after an event after an event that leaves you mesmerized. It is amazing how Kalki characterized each one so effectively while having to explain the numerous things that was going on in the plot. He did such a fantastic job that you love those characters. The thought of "Vandhiyathevan" riding on his horse while crossing the "VeeraNarayanam" lake or the way "Raja Raja cholan" enters the story, its just mind blowing.
This has got to be the best piece of "series" books I have ever read, followed by Harry Potter and Bartimeus Trilogy. If you havent read it yet, please do.There are English translations available too.

Evening is the Whole Day by Preetha Samarasan

I got intrigued by the comments I found for this book in amazon and ordered it. I like Arundati Roy and found Preetha's writing to be somewhat similar. So in that regard I liked the book. However I thought that she overdid verbosity like most subcontinent authors. The simplest of things were explained in excruciating detail adorned with heavy vocable embellishments. And the plot instead of unravelingin pieces was all of sudden just thrust in your face. I however did like writing style. I probably will get her next book.

The White Tiger by Arvind Adiga

The book prize made me buy this one and I loved it. Written very well, Adiga moves away from the style most sub continent authors follow. Verbosity! i am glad he did. His writing was simple and easy to follow and almost felt like a whiff of fresh air. It was fairly dark though , I had to read a few light books to get over the effect it had on me. A really good read.

The case of the missing servant - A vish puri mystery

Now this was a brilliant find. Thanks to a review in TheBanyanTrees, I ordered this book and it turned out to be fantastic. Vish Puri is a private detective in Delhi and in this book he solves the mystery of a servant maid gone missing and aides in proving the innocence of a famous lawyer. The best thing about this book is how it depicts contemporary India. It is the India that our generation knows about and it is done at the right levels. It is astonishing that this author is not of Indian Origin. I am pre ordering my next book in the series. If you like light breezy mysteries, go grab this one.

Bhimsen - Prem Panicker

A big thanks to Kana for suggesting this one :) I have always wanted to read "Randamoozham" - Mahabarat as described from Bhima's point of view .Since the books is in Malayalam, I ordered the a copy of the translated version from Amazon. As luck would have it though, I got the Malayalam version delivered and I was looking at pages and pages of Malayalam script which made as such sense to me as logic would to Ektha Kapoor. Anyways as i was browsing i found Prem Panicker had done a similar attempt and had written an E-Book called "Bhimsen". It was heavily inspired from "Randamoozham" however not a word by word translation. The book is extremely interesting as it gives you an interpretation version of Mahabarat. There are ofcourse differences from the story we are used to being told from our mothers and grandmothers. Read it with a pinch of salt. There are things that you might not approve of. I liked it thought, i always like reading various interpretations of a single story. it also helps to not take it personally.

The Lost Symbol By Dan Brown

A typical Dan Brown novel this one. It certainly was interesting and was a page turned. I specifically liked the little twist he had towards the end. Not a great read from a literary stand point. I thought his writing style was better in Angels and Demons and The DaVinci Code. An interesting read nevertheless and as usual there was just so much information in the book.

Two States by Chetan Bhagat.

This book by the new kid of controversies is certainly an interesting read. Chetan Bhagat taps in to the inherent issues in a love marriage in India where it is more important for the families to like each other than the two people who are in love. This is an interesting and entertaining read but it stops at that. The books has such a low quality in terms of literature. His vocabulary is ordinary, his sentences are not too great and for some reason it feels like reading an amateur blogger's story. The plot is very interesting ,his presentation style certainly isn't. I would not believe that this man is three books old if this was the first book I read. And to think he wants his books to be in the list of books in school curriculum so that kids can learn literature is absurd! But forget that, grab a copy cause like i said, it is entertaining.

Dating Dead Men by Harley Jane Kozak

Yet another book that i bought from amazon reviews that I was not thrilled about. What was promised as a hilarious read turned out to be a decent read. Nowhere close to being hilarious. However it is a good mystery novel and a light read. I am not sure if I will get the sequels.

Curious Case of the dog at the night time

This is one book I am glad i bought. A fantastic perspective on everything from a differently abled kid. A book rife with information, this is a must read for everyone simply for the writing style.

Have a Little Faith.

A Mitch album book. After his "5 people you meet in heaven" I thoroughly enjoyed this one. Its a small but really intersting book on faith. What I loved about the book is how he did not preach though there was so much potential to be preachy. And he still managed to get his point across. I now feel I have to read "Tuesday's with Morrie".

"Nylon Kayiru" - Sujatha's first novel

This murder mystery by sujatha is a fantastic read. I have always been a huge Sujatha fan and this time when I went to India, I bought a couple of his books to savor and I started off with his first novel "Nylon Kayiru" where the legendary Ganesh makes his first appearance. I loved the style of writing. The plot as such was fairly ok but its the way Sujatha handles it that makes it awesome. Must read if you can read Tamil. Grab one immediately.

Karl, Aaj aur Kal by Cyrus Broacha

As tradition goes, i got this book in Madras airport. Cyrus Broacha according to me is a rib tickling funny guy. So when I saw that he had written a book, i could not resist myself and bought the book for a hideous price in Madras airport where a cup of coffee is 100 bucks. The book is certainly interesting and funny in most places. It tracks the frivolous yet successful lives of two friends and with it brings out the various idiosyncrasies present in India today. I was just a tad let down cause i was expecting a couple of LOL and ROTFL moments and those did not quite come my way. Anyways its a light read. Borrow the book from someone and read it :)

Thats it for now. I have a huge set of books to get too soon. Most of them Tamil though. Will post my list at the end of the year.

Seeya!

Novel Heroes Part II

2009-12-22T10:38:00.001-08:00

As stated in the previous post, i did tag Suchi,for the same, and here is Suchi's novel heroes list :) I throughly enjoyed reading it.

The Novel Heroes tag:
Apart from the fact that this makes very nice conversation, I guess thinking about who I found attractive in books gives me insight into what I find attractive in general ;) I am not limiting my list to books, but exploring movies and mythology as well.
Books:

Rhett Butler: Starting with what you started J I read GWTW when I was 12, and thought Margaret Mitchell was an amazing character-izer. I loved the shades of grey in Scarlett, Rhett, Melanie and Ashley, but it was Rhett that I liked the most of the lot. He was Almost Perfect, never a boring moment with him, grossly misunderstood, sophisticated, sometimes even a little crude, but having a tender, sensitive side to him as well. Ultimate schoolgirl fantasy – the bad boy who’s good at heart :D

Favourite Rhett Butler scene: One of many, but I guess it has to be when melanie’s just had her baby and Scarlett wants to flee the Yankees and go home. He acts like a cad to Scarlett, and then comforts her when he realizes she is really distraught, and then mocks her to get her fire up, and then behaves like a perfect gentleman to Melly, and then leaves Scarlett on the road because he thought he had to join the ‘army’ which only had kids in it! That man was like the raymonds’ ad, ‘the complete man :D

Francisco d’Anconia: I decided to go with one Rand hero, because they are mostly all essentially the same :P And I picked Frisco, because, well, he’s Frisco. Roark made me clutch my hand to my throat while reading FH, Rearden wrenched my heart, Galt, sorry to say, made no impression on me whatsoever (Who is John Galt?) Leo made me laugh cynically, Andrei Taganov (who almost made it to this list) made me actually weep, but Frisco was life itself. There’s one thing I say about rand…though I am not a fan of her methods, I love the core of her being. The throwaway elan of Francisco d’Anconia which is the crux of celebrating life…that is the core of rand to me. I guess with Frisco, I am more in love with the idea of the person than with the person himself. But then, we are talking Rand here…the height of abstractness!

Favourite Frisco scene: The one where we are told he had the ‘crude form of a partial differential equation’ in his hands when he was a kid of 10, playing with levers and pulleys.

Surya (Alai Osai): Kalki is one author who creates the most amazing characters. Though I love Kalki’s women (Sivakami, Nandini, Poonkuzhali) I am not averse to his men either. In fact, I am quoting three of kalki’s men in my list :D The first is Surya from Alai Osai. It is a semi historical novel, and Surya is a patriot with communist leanings. He is in love with Seetha (his athtanga, it is endearing how he calls her that way throughout the book. Seetha calls him ‘ammaanji’ :D) However, we are talking about 1930’s Thanjavur, and Seetha gets married to Raghavan, who lives in Delhi. The story then winds on, the freedom struggle as the background. Surya is a protagonist, one who flashes in and out with his secret conspiracies and he hovers around Seetha, trying to protect her from Raghavan, whose good nature morphs into something sinister over time. He is patriotic, and he is extremely sincere in his beliefs, be it the love for his country or the love for Sita!

Favourite Surya scene: Seetha, Raghavan, Surya and Dharini, with their friends, visit the Taj Mahal. The scene by itself it highly charged – it begins with an AMAZING description of the Taj-in-moonlight by Kalki, and then an exchange of words when the hidden feelings of each of the characters is brought out. Seetha’s devotion to raghavan, raghavan’s eye on Dharini, Surya’s feelings for Seetha…There is a marble figurine of the Taj that Seetha buys (either Raghavan presents it to her or she buys it herself – not sure which) Surya gets into an argument with raghavan and ends up breaking the figurine into a thousand smithereens :D I guess this is one of those things you need to actually read to get it.

Mahendra pallavar: The second Kalki character, the father of narasimha varman in Sivakamiyin Sabatham. He’s actually way more charismatic than his son! I love the way he disguises himself as Vajrabahu and enters Pulikesi’s camp. His only fault, he was too nice and Pulikesi takes advantage.

Favourite MP scene: He’s on his death bed when Narasimha pallavan vows to marry Sivakami and none other. MP says that rather than let that happen he would rather marry Sivakami himself!

Vandiyathevan: Wits. Charm. Liveliness. Nuff said :D

Fav VT scene: How he meets Nandini, ramming his horse into her pallakku. How he shoots the stuffed crocodile (Man, that was hilarious!)

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore: I love shades of gray characters, but Dumbledore was a whole spectrum by himself.

Favourite APWBD moment: Oddment! Nitwit! Blubber! Tweak!

Snape: Though I don’t find Snape attractive in the conventional sense, I could not go by a Rowling survey without mentioning Snape.

Favourite Snape moment: “Always’

Percy Blakeney: ‘The Scarlet Pimpernel’ was one of my favourite adventure-type novels and Percy was this ammanji type character who was actually a savior in disguise. Spurned by his own wife, and she later finding it out and following him to France to help him save her brother…a very oodal-modal type of story. Percy’s the disguise master too.

Favourite PB moment: The climax, where he disguises as the Jew to rescue a bunch of people from the French revolutionaries.

Movies:

Apoo, from Aboorva Sagotharargal. The guy was a shorty, but I loved his scheming mind!
Kamal’s character in Varumaiyin Niram Sivappu. Idealism, truth, no-bullshit
Prakash Raj’s character in Ghilli. (Yes, I know, weird taste :P) If I were Trisha I would have chosen him over Vijay (but I’d have chosen even Otteri Nari over Vijay, so…)
Amitabh Bachchan’s character in Abhimaan (I love this movie!)
Madhavan’s character in Kannathil Muthamittal (no-nonsense, intellectual, sucker for adoption :P)
The Joker, Dark Knight. (OK, not attractive, but very, very intriguing)
Di Caprio’s character in Titanic: I am an unashamed fan of the said movie. Di Caprio’s character is the free spirit…I wonder what is so attractive about them!!
John Nash, A Beautiful Mind: Maybe I should visit Princeton to find out whether the real Nash is anything like the Russell Crowe portrayal, but the Crowe Nash owes most of his charisma to the scriptwriters. For all his manic ego and his insecurities, there is something enormously endearing about Nash. “There has to be a mathematical explanation for how bad that tie is.”
Achilles (Troy): Maybe it was just Brad Pitt :P Or maybe it was the scriptwriter again. ‘I'll tell you a secret. Something they don't teach you in your temple. The Gods envy us. They envy us because we're mortal, because any moment might be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we're doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. and we will never be here again.”

Guess with movies the actor’s personality sometimes influences the role, and their subsequent impact on me :P I find kamal, Big B and prakash Raj very charismatic actors by themselves.

MYTHOLOGY

Ram

Ram was my first hero ever, but one that I have always had a love-hate relationship with. It started with devotion!

I started listening to Ramayana stories before I could talk, and my favourite parts of the epic were 1) when Ram slays the demons who messed up the sacrifice, 2) when he breaks the bow 3) searching for Sita in the forest, asking every bird and tree ‘Did you see Sita?’ 4) the ‘Indru poy naalai vaa’ scene. This was back when I was a kid, and I really did not get the part where she makes Sita walk through fire

When I grew older, I thought that he was a terribly unfair man, and all my ‘crush’ on Ram melted. He not only tries burning his wife (for all her silent devotion) but also banishes her when she is pregnant. Injustice! Why was that woman even with him? I guess at some point the whites and blacks merged into shades of gray, and all the respect I have for Ram comes back to the fact that he tried to do the right thing. I guess that is the difference between Ram and Krishna – Ram tried to follow the rules and ended up floundering, while Krishna made his own rules. I guess that at some level it requires enormous courage to do the Ram thing – be just human, nothing more, nothing less. Try to follow the rules, because that is all you have been given, sometimes floundering, facing unhappiness, all to uphold an ideal of righteousness. And is Sita suffered, well, she chose it

Krishna

But then who can resist his charms?

Why are epics stories of distress and sorrow and frustrations and unfulfilled expectations? Why does the drama excite us more than the passive peace of everyday life we so ardently crave, or even life in all its excitement? Krishna was one person (kind of like Frisco) who could not be touched by distress.

Ravana

Ravana’s decisions are a classic case of sunk cost fallacy. It is not his lust for Sita that made him lose the war with Ram; it was his own adamant will not to let go of her, because he had made up his mind to abduct her, and letting her go at any point after that would reveal his weakness. At the root, this is the same tenacity the man displayed to earn the favour of Shiva, this is the same good taste in a man who could play the veena and had chosen a woman like Mandodari as his wife, the valor and intelligence that made him the ruler of a city as fine as Lanka. And that arrogant streak, which brought about his downfall. Ram and Ravan are both weak men, inherently. One allowed his insecurity to get the better of him, the other allowed his vulnerability to get the better of him. The real ‘hero’ of the Ramayana is Sita – for she saw the best of both the weak men in front of her. I look at the Ramayana with Sita’s eye – therefore both Ram and Ravan are special to me.

Arjuna:

Prince charming

Skill and humility, charm and artlessness, valor and devotion, certainty and doubt, utterly secure and primordially insecure. This character has many many shades that I just love to explore.

Abhimanyu:

I can almost see it: If the Kurukshetra war had had this ‘preview’ on TV, with all the ‘brave jawans’ interviewed by someone like Barkha Dutt, and if Abhimanyu had come up on screen, there would have been this bunch of teenage girls (with ridiculously short skirts) screaming in the background and blowing kisses :P Abhimanyu’s that kind of a guy – the fifteen year old entrant into the World Cup who scores a 99 against Australia in the finals but is run-out (unfairly of course) before he gets his century. Just imagining brave Abhi riding alone into the Chakravyuha, surrounded by all those older ragging ‘adults’ who tear him to pieces, and he raising his chariot wheel to fend them off…I adore that boy.

Karna:

An older female friend once told me that women have something called a ‘tragedy complex’ - that they are predisposed (perhaps because of a protective instinct?) to have a soft corner for individuals whose lives have a tragic streak in them. Karna is one such character- his tragedy defines him. (Kind of like Snape, don’t you think?) Had he been another prince, he would have been a more arrogant version of Arjuna, and there’d have been nothing special about that. His unknown origins, the sparkle in his eyes, the luminance of his face, the kavacham and the kundalam – that is his allure. With karna, there’s the streak of the good boy having to be bad because of circumstances (and some choices) – we can’t help but wonder ‘what could have been’.

Shiva:

Among all the mythological characters I have spoken about, I think Shiva’s the most ‘complete’ man, the strongest and sanest. He is usually silent, an aloof ascetic. He makes decisions quickly, and executes them calmly. He has his own space, and gives his wife hers. He is the devoted householder, yet the sanyaasai who has shunned the world. I have enormous respect for Shiva.

I don’t remember much of the Greek and Roman myth I (once) read to be very detailed here. Ido seem to recall liking Hercules and Ulysses…

I guess that with each of these men, just like they are all very different, one responds to them in different ways. Just like it is with people

Suchitra

Novel Heroes

2009-12-14T22:08:00.000-08:00

A random conversation with Suchi , was the origin of this post. While we were discussing "Gone with the wind" and "fountainhead" we were talking about how some leading men in books leave a lasting impression on us. Some of them are so well etched by the authors that we pine to see a man like that. So here is a list of the leading men in books that i had a crush on, at some time or the other.

1. Howard Roark - The Fountain head.
There was something about him that made him a class above everyone else. Whether it was his complete disregard to others in an almost innocent way, his passion for the work that he did, his clarity of thought on what he wanted , his ambition, Howard Roark set an indelible impression on me.I fell in love with Fountainhead and he was my most favorite character.

2. Rhett Butler.
Aww! Rhet Butler, he oozes charm. He like Suchi says is the right mix of devil and the angel. As stubborn as he was, as dismissive as he was of others and their cause during the civil war in America, he was still head over heels in love with Scarlett and wished and hoped that she would feel the same towards him too. His love for Scarlett, his devotion to boney , his admiration of Melanie, gave his character such bright colors.

Be it Howard or Rhett , they were bothered only about their own interests and were not apologetic about it. There was something refreshing about that. People who were not ashamed to say what they thought, how they felt and better defend their principles. There is a reason they were fictional. To top it ,Clark Gable immortalized Rhett for me.

3. Vandhiyathevan

I read ponniyin selvan much later than I should have but I am so happy that i did read it. The characters in the book are so beautifully developed that when an incident happens, you think in your mind "Gosh, that is soo Vandhiyathevan or I knew Vanathi would do that" . That is the extent to which Kalki made his characters stick in our minds. He made them household names, they still are.

And vandhiyathevan, oh vandhiyathevan, he is just soo adorable. He is brave, he is unbelievably smart, not the bookish smart types, but street smart. Give him any situation, and he will come out of it unscathed, thanks to that nimble brain of his. And he flirts! Yes , he does. Vandhiyathevan is just like any other man in the prime of his youth, when he looks at any beautiful young maiden, his boyish charm surfaces and he flirts with them, cajoles them, makes them laugh and they all fall for him and help him get out of his sticky situation. Right from Kundavai , to manimegalai and maybe even Nadhini . His street smartness coupled with his boyish charm is yet another irresistible combination.

4.Ganesh from Sujatha's Ganesh Vasanth.
I loved detective Ganesh. He was like our very own sherlock holmes and Sujatha's characterization of him made him my hero!

I now tag others to do the same. Suchi ofcourse, Anu, Archu ,Dhivya and Bg

Flighty Temptress?

2009-12-02T20:37:00.000-08:00

What is the worst thing that can ever happen to you?

Well lets discount "being in an accident", "being eaten by a norweign ridgeback", pretty much anything that causes mortal damange.

As I attempted to ansswer this question, a number of answers made its way through my mind but the one thing that stood out was "Thinking you are not worth it". Whatever the "it" could be. It is an inevitable thought that most of us go through in our life. It happens at sometime or the other, when you did not make it through your most ambitious and favorite school, when you did not get that one job you were working so hard for, when you cannot hold on to that one person you want to be with for the rest of your lives.

There are always going to be hurdles , moments that make you feel insecure, that make you feel that you dont deserve the best,or whatever it is that you desire. The only way to get over these times is to think beyond the issue that we are so focussed about. Think and play scenarios in your mind. "Ok this did not happen. How will life be after that?" Find an answer to that. It isnt easy I tell you, but it helps. Once you are willing to open up to a life without whatever it is that you are worrying about, you wont worry so much about it. After all , arent we all supposed to be happy. Isnt happiness the one thing that we all strive towards. And if its the one thing that all of us need, isnt it somewhat obvious that it is not going to magically appear in our laps.

While it is important to think of a life after our most important desire, it is also paramount to not give up trying until its over. Cause it aint over until it is over. The one line that comes to my mind when my mind wanders off to dangerous paths and scares me is

மனதில் உறுதி வேண்டும்

There is not a scenario where Bharathiyar does not have some to say for. So that is it.Here is to hoping to somehow getting over the biggest hurdle and hunting that flighty temptress called Happiness. ( yes yes i am a HP crazy fan)

TheBanyanTrees

2009-10-14T16:51:00.000-07:00

The Poster says it all.

If you would like to submit your literary work, stories, poetry, book reviews, movie reviews, cartoons, art, photography, pretty much anything creative, send in your contributions to editor@thebanyantrees.com.

As its a new venture we are open to new cool ideas that would resonate with an urban audience.If you have an interesting novel idea for a column, do contact us . Send an email to editor@thebanyantrees.com or just drop in a comment and I will find ya

Destination Unknown

2009-09-30T21:50:00.000-07:00

Having had enough of it, I decided to turn back and leave .

Back to my mom, dad and my beautiful house. The warmth of my family.

I started walking away from my home when this weird thought in my head stopped me short.

"How will you go home, if you are not sure where home is"?

(In)Dependent

2009-09-28T22:32:00.000-07:00

Independance. Probably a very well misunderstood term. What is it? What are our expectations of it? Growing up, being independant was very important to me. It was one of those values that my parents imbibed in me. My dad would keep reiterating how important it was to be independent. He would let me bicycle to school, go to banks and post offices when I was a kid. He used to tell me that i should be able to do every task on my own.

Somewhere along the way independence became an obsession. Independence is easy when its easily defined. Like say financial independence. What about emotional independence? Can we ever be truly emotionally independent? Maybe not. As human beings we are dependent, we crave attention, we have this need to be liked, to like, to be pampered, to be loved. The fact that it does not always happen that way is the cruel , brutal truth.It is a life lesson that we refuse to learn. Or is it misplaced hope. I do not know.

Would it not be awesome if we get everything we want, exactly the same way we want it! Wishful thinking, I know. But I am reminded of Calvin.

"Happiness is not good enough, I demand Euphoria"

The Atomic Soul

2009-09-14T19:57:00.000-07:00

I have been listening to some religious sermons and was pleasantly surprised that Mr.Velukudi Krishnan's discourses are extremely interesting. It is the nice story telling format, with the fact that he does not add an ounce of unnecessary information that makes it almost fun to hear. Not to mention, the man does not flounder for words at all. Amazing , I say!

Anyways the thing that amused me today, was a particular thing he said about the soul.
The soul is atomic according to our scriptures. Atomic therefore implies that which cannot be broken down in to further parts. Once I heard it, I immediately thought of Horcruxes. Call it not being "well-read" in the scripture space. i will plead guilty to it. But this is what I remembered. I remembered JKR's idea about splitting the soul. How its the most heinous thing ever, and how it takes evil means to do so.

This just made me think that there is some kind of unifying thing about humans. There have been innumerable parallels drawn between the great civilizations of the bygone era, numerous studies on the similarities between the great epics, the religious scriptures. The underlying human belief in many areas seem to be the same. How else would you expect an english woman say almost the same thing as something that has been said in our scriptures before 1000's of years!

What's your Online Persona?

2009-08-26T15:30:00.000-07:00

What is your online Persona?

Wait , what is AN online persona?

The world as we know resides within the internet these days. Anything and everything is just a few clicks away. As people spend more time in the internet and with web 2.0 technologies, everyone has an online presence, image, a wait-for-it persona.

That is what this app created by MIT's Aaron Zinma does for you. It finds out your online persona.
It uses natural language processing and the internet and creates what Manoj Jasra of Web Analytics world calls a data portrait.

I am not sure of its accuracy. For the most it seems correct.Though I found sports for me as a big glaring mistake. There is also another big question, there are going to be quite a few Nivethitha Kumar(s) ( I highly doubt that specifically with the spelling). But one cant discount the possibility of people with similar names. So I am not sure if just the name is good enough for developing one's online persona. However its a fun thing to do. Check it out, especially when it is developing your persona.

Go to Personas to get yours.

Books in 2009

2009-07-22T10:21:00.000-07:00

So I decided that the best way to do most things is to make a plan! And stick to the plan , hopefully.

So I have decided to go back to my book devouring days, the ones where I went from one book to the next.Eloor library in chennai was my best friend at those times.

So the ones I want to read this year ( keeping in mind there is just 6 more months left)

1.Ponniyin Selvan I - Done - Loved Loved Loved it. Cant wait for the next.

2. Ponniyin Selvan II

2.Great Expectations

3.Satanic Verses

4.3 cups of Tea

5. White tiger

6.The curious incident of the dog in the night time - Brilliant Read

7.Roots

8. Heroes of the Valley

9. The Lost Symbol ( when it is out)

I know this is going to be very hard. But well Ill be happy even if i get through 6-7 of them. Let us see. I am now almost through Ponniyin Selvan part 1 and am kicking myself for not reading more tamil novels. What a book! What language! I am bowled over. I already have most of the other books, that i wanted to read, I have been looking for them in old bookstores and amazon.I like owning books. I fancy myself having a great library one day.

Anyways lets see how far I go. I wont forget to update :)

Retrospect!

2009-05-23T17:18:00.000-07:00

Retrospection is not a genie in a bottle that you get to command when you feel like. Rather it likes to pounce on you when you dont expect it . Sitting on chair sipping my tea and listening the evergreen Rafi, the last thing I expected was to welcome this sudden guest.

The hot tea was teasing me while my thoughts went back to home, life 2 years back and a weird thought of "Is this what I wanted?" . I dont know and I guess its better this way. Cause some answers tend to increase the already confusion ridden mind.

I move on to "Anhi na jao chod kar" of Rafi .Not for retrospection.

The Lanka Sentiment

2009-04-27T22:36:00.001-07:00

The whole Lankan Tamil issue has been bothering me for a while. The reasons are pretty obvious and rather simple. For one, the country is very close to us and whether we like it or not there is some sort of a neighbour relationship going on. Also Lanka has been a part of my bedtime stories thanks to Ravana hailing from there.
And then ofcourse the big reason, the Tamils.

SriLanka was originally occupied by Vijaya, the then king of Orrisa.So in a way they are our people. It is the same people who then adopted Budhism and became the singhalese as time passed by. The tamils that occupied Lanka were mostly business people and traders who settled in the island nation.Like all problems be it the subcontinent, the middle east or anywhere else, this conflict too arose as a result of religion. The singhalese were Buddhists and Tamils were Hindus.

If history has ever been a teacher, it has been that opression never holds good. It never has and never will. Whatever good that it seems to be doing is only temporary. It is the lull before the storm that is waiting to topple any semblance of normalcy. This is exactly what has happened in SriLanka. The Singhalese tried to opress the Tamils who constitute the second biggest ethnic population in the nation. And the result was the birth of LTTE.

Now if we were to see this as a movie I am sure we would all be putting all our enerigies in to a big fat clapping extravaganza for the LTTE standing up to thier rights. THe udnerdogs fighting for thier respect, uprooting everything that attempts to stop them from thier goal. Who are we kidding, this would be a blockbuster and in a way it was. The LTTE was running a parallel govt in thier heydays much to the embarrasment of the SriLankan govt.

Whilst I have no issues about the ideals and goals that led to the formation LTTE, I have much consternation about the direction they decided to head. Killing thousands of civilian singhalese was no excuse, no matter how ideological thier goal was.A certain sense of personal grouse is also embedded in my antipathy towards LTTE . That is due to the Rajiv killing.While Sonia and Priyanka may have forgotten and forgiven the LTTE, maybe because that was the best way for them to move on, it hurts my nation's ego that a terrorist organization brutally assasinated our former prime minister.It is an insult and a very big one.

Having very clearly said that I do not believe in the LTTE's means to achieve thier goal, I also think this is the most opportune time for the Lankans to make the right decisions. It would take probably another 5- 10 years for the LTTE to emerge out of this blow or maybe even sooner. One can never be sure, Look at the taliban. They are back in 8 years and seem to be pretty strong too. This is the time the politians of Sri Lanka should look above thier prejudices for the tamils. If not all the demands they should atleast take in the tamils as an important part of thier country and provide them with all rights that a citizen deserves in thier country and try to make amends before another fresh set of youngsters start a simliar rebellion. If the Lanka govt manages to do that, it would probably be one of the smartest decisions ever made , more importantly a humanitarian decision.

As for addressing the current burning issue, which is the killing of civilians, it is an extremely unfortunate situation. The LTTE had a human shield to protect thier leader who for all we know could have either died or escaped long before. This could all be one big wild gooose chase for the army. Nevertheless the truth is there are innocent lives trapped there and innocent lives lost. Is the govt right for doing that, maybe not. But when I think of the reality, internal terrorism is something India has been facing for years. Be it the naxals in Andhra , Maoists in the north east, terrorism in punjab and our very own beloved Kashmir.We know terrorism like no other country in the world can. I think I can understand why SriLanka wants to get rid of thier terrorists for good. Is it right in putting innocent civilians lives at stake? Maybe not. But then again who is putting the innocent lives at stake? Is is the govt or is it a tactical move by the LTTE hoping that the international pressure would prevent the president from getting to them because of the heavy civilan causualty. One can never know.It is somehat a relief that some civilans are indeed seeing light at the end of the tunnel with the recent developments and the govt saying they are going to stop heavy shelling etc.

Having said all this, I probably am coming to address the most important thing that has been eating my mind for a while. As a community the tamils have been quite mum about the whole issue. The Indian tamils I mean. Except for the lone politicos trying to ride the the whole "Tamil blood in my viens" wave, the aam junta has been rather loud in thier silence. Its almost deafening. I dont see or hear the tamils talk about it , its not even in our tea time discussions. Nope nowhere. It is a topic that is being clearly avoded. Some people go back to the usual critique that tamils are the one community who dont stand up at all. Had this been in the case with any northern state , things would have been so different. We dont care, we are too laid back. These are a few of the comments that I have heard. And I must admit that it definitely made me think. Surprisingly it did not upset me, it just made me think.

As a community I dont think tamils are the aggresive kind. Maybe a few districts in the south are, but mostly we are the "Let me do my job" kind. We dont like deviating from our schedules, we hate anything that does it. We go by the rules or atleast we like to go by the rules and I think somewhere LTTE defied the rules. They started innocent killings and the image that got stuck in to us was terrorists. While the entire country was being attacked by terrorists every few months, how can us support an organization that does the exact same thing in the neigboring country.In a way I think it says a lot about the community. I think it stands up to what it beleives. And we dont beleive in terrorism. I dont speak for ailing idiots like Karunanidhi or his MP daughter Kanimozhi whose only achievement in life has been her initial or the likes of PMK and Vaicko who dont give a shit about anyone but themselves and use the LTTE as a political tactic. I talk for the man who does not want innocents killed in dastardly terrorist acts, anywhere. I believe I talk for the man who has a pretty darn good idea of what is right and what is wrong. It is probably most hard to stand up and say " you're wrong" to your own kind, when you know they are. And that is what we have done.

I hope and pray for all innocent civilians trapped in this impossible situation and more than anything wish that the future holds great peace for the beautiful island nation.

Delhi 6

2009-02-23T21:15:00.000-08:00

My opinion of Delhi 6 has brought up widespread disapproval from many friends of mine. Diverse opinions are what make up for conversations on dinner table and I am all for it. However seeing such widespread disapproval among my friends, I decided to write down why according to me it was a brilliant attempt and why I personally loved the movie albeit its flaws.

Delhi 6 captures in a nut shell, human nature. The movie attempts to do the same with reference to Kala Bandhar or Black Monkey. Not only does it poetically say how rumour builds an over hauling iamge of perhaps a non existant monkey, but also brings out the various insecurities that an average Indian has. THe movie also shows how sensitive Indians are when it comes to religion, how it evokes the monkey in all of them and how insecure we are.

Every character to the exception of Ab(Jr) was well developed. Be it the nice gullible sweet shop owner, the attention seeking brother, the grumpy old fashioned Om Puri,the egoistic policeman, they were well sketched. so well sketched that when they did what they did towards the end, you could understand why each one did so.

The subtleity of certain scenes I thought was brilliant. For instance the scene where Ram and Shiva bow in front of the politican and the one where a character supports castesim saying " He is Lord, He can do anything" when Rama eats from Sabari's hand were sheer brillaince.The Taj scenes brought a smile to my face. I remembered myself when Abhishek just stood frozen after his first glimpse. I stood still for seconds when I my eyes first met the Taj. I thought the Masakalli reference was cute. Sonam Kapoor did an able job. One could sympathize with her situation. I liked the fact that it was a movie with characters instead of being a movie with a hero.

The flagrant flaws as I saw them were the following

AB(Sr) . I agreed with the scene where Abished had a close encounter with death, but why did he have to meet his grandad, thye never had any relationship! I dont know. But after reading "Five people you meet in heaven", I sometime think, maybe he did in some in extricable way.

The editing : Editing was definitely flawed. There were some major hitches. The scenes did not flow from one to another. It was blotched. A big mistake this one was.

The songs, it was almost a blasphemy for not including ARR's fine compositions.

THe romantic angle between AB and Sonam could have had more depth. I could understand why she fell for him but not vice versa.

But beyond all this Delhi 6 was honest about what it wanted to say and in a way poetic too. To me, the fact that it chose a subject as deep as this and with so many layers was a victory. It had a script and the script was great. I loved the fact that it said "Everyone has grey shades and when provoked can act un predictably" . I loved the background score.

I loved Delhi 6.

La Barney!

2009-01-23T18:28:00.000-08:00

So I have this theory.You know how they say that if you want something really bad, the universe conspires for you and you end up getting it. So my theory is that the universe has an evil convoluted twin who does the exact opposite of what the good twin is out to achieve. And to the good universe's dismay the evil twin is pretty good at what he does. I mean he has mastered the art of kicking ass so well that not an opportunity is missed.

I came up with this theory because lately i have had a lot of visits from the evil twin and even the smallest things fall apart, thanks to him. I hope the good guy wakes up soon and defeats the evil twin and restores peace ! Or my whole " I came up with a theory" thing is due to an overdose of "How I met your Mother" !

Ears for the Insane?

2009-01-18T22:27:00.000-08:00

You now how they say , you feel the worst when you think you have given something all you got and still end up not getting what you want. It would be incorrect to say I feel that way now. But I have this strange premonition that , thats exactly how I am going to feel in a couple of days. i dont know what makes a person insecure or if infact there is any way out of it. All I know is, I have for long been an insecure person, trying very hard to handle any situation myself, so much so that it becomes an obsession. It becomes too hard to share my problems, my deepest concerns, the issues that constantly nag me to just about anyone. I do not know what is the issue with us humans to always have someone to pour our hearts out, that sometimes if we dont do that for a long time, we feel that the burden has just gone too much and is about to hit the roof. All I know is it sure does feels great to pour your hearts out! Wish there were a few ears out there which can tolerate insanity!

2008-12-30T22:04:00.000-08:00

I have been recently following Super singer and kicked myself for not having done that much earlier. The latest episode particularly was great. It ahd emotions as its theme and all the contestants were pretty cool. But my pick was this guy called Prasanna. He rocked the stage.

His rendition of "Vazhve Mayam" nearly brought tears to my eyes. Very close to Yesudas's original. Absolutely Brilliant. I have been listening to that song since evening.

At the risk of being repetitious, he was brilliant!

The video is here

(In) Security

2008-12-27T21:13:00.001-08:00

State of mind is a rather befuddling one, at least it has always been for me. My mood swings from very enthusiastic to down in the dumps back to marginally enthusiastic if not ecstatic. And those moments of down in the dumps invokes this persona of me which has too many questions and unfortunately does not have a Jeeves to answer all the questions.

These moments confuse me, I don't know what to do and the fact that I don't have a plan scares me. I hate moments of waiting for something/anything. Cause waiting makes me restless and makes my idle mind wander and it never finds what it wants. It brings out all my insecurities and makes them so tangible that I can almost smell it.That scares the living daylights out of me. It really does.

The funny thing about all this is that somewhere deep down I also know that things might not turnout like these insecurities demon portray them to be. There is a good possibility that these demons would be scared away by the kindness of reality. At least thats what I hope.

Hoping that hope doesnt give up hope on me!

P.S : It should not take a genius to figure out that this was written when i was in dumps!

And whither then?

2008-12-18T00:59:00.000-08:00

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.

From lord of the rings. I somehow think this makes too much sense right now.
Maybe its the lack of sleep due to finals, maybe its not.

Am I Chandler?

2008-12-06T16:32:00.000-08:00

If you are what your choices are, how do we explain certain things. There are certain things of my past that I have conveniently forgotten and to such an extent that it does not even bother me anymore. Not an irk, Nothing! Zilch. And that bothers me at times. Does the fact that some things of the past does not affect in any way say anything about me? Does it mean I am shallow or that I did not respect, cherish the certain events of the past.

I don't know and it often pops up as a question! I always brush it aside telling myself that , thats what they call "Moving on". And its a good thing aint it? I am happy, its not that I keep worrying, but does the fact that I am happy and am not affected at all mean something? Is it bad? Am i Chandler??

Fuzzy

2008-11-22T21:06:00.000-08:00

Its one of those fuzzy days. Something is wrong, quite wrong. But its just so hard to pin point to what is wrong. What is the single thing that is bothering me? Nope it seems to be playing hide and seek with me. All I know is something is wrong and no amount of ice cream and fresh air is helping.

I want the fuziness to end. I want glasses!

Shadows

2008-11-17T23:21:00.000-08:00

Somethings are destined never to happen! It just wont happen, no matter how you try, maybe because you were not worth it or you just cant handle it.

A lot of events that happened mid last year left deep scars in me. Though I was at peace with what happened, in fact its amazing how I knew it was the right thing, it brought out a lot of monsters out in the open. A certain part of me, the one that believed I was worth everything died a little. The devil of insecurites took a deep rise. Whatever that went out of my life left a huge wound open. One that brought out all my hidden fears. I try too hard to battle them and I do get over them many times, but the rate at which surface has left me puzzled if i will ever truly conquer it. I hope I do. I hate the insecure me. I really do.

And when i do, i hope to conquer destiny, throw a stone at it and say, I did it, i made it happen

Queasy and uneasy

2008-11-02T09:46:00.000-08:00

One of those extremely weird days. Its amazing how someone from the past can evoke such strong emotions. The problem is you do not think of them as past, but somewhere down the lines as you catch up, you realise it indeed is past and time just forgot to mention it to you.

There is nothing awkward but there is the feeling that tells you, it isnt right. It brings back certain memories that you rather never be reminded of again. It makes you remember that you did not share the relationship you now have with them.It makes you wonder why things are the way they are and worst of all it makes you wonder if you did something wrong. If there is one thing I hate that is having to reconsider the valididty of the decisions I make. I try to make my decision thinking about the future in mind. Whether I would regret the decisions of my today. i hate revisiting my decisions.

That is what happened today. I had to revisit my decisions. Wonder why certain things were they way they were. Why things sometimes turn a 360 degree turn. I guess somethings in life never have an answer. You were never meant to get an answer. The best is to let the queasy feeling settle and just move on.

For today

2008-10-30T21:55:00.000-07:00

உலகே உன் கோவில்
ஒன்றே உன் தெய்வம்

மூன்றெழுத்தில் என் முச்சிரிகும் பாடல்

Brilliant lines, especially in today's world!

Paadal

2008-10-24T16:38:00.001-07:00

Power of turning off

2008-10-05T18:45:00.000-07:00

The mind is awesome. It is amazing how it lets you procrastinate worrying about things. how you can just put things off! Just like that.

There are only about a zillion things I am currently worried about. One thing i do is prolong it try to postpone worrying about it . This is because I am not sure how i can solve the problem. Maybe its a way to magically wait for a solution. The school of thought that, lets wait it out. See what happens!

Another reason is because there is just so much to do that you simply cannot afford to spend time thinking about something for which you dont have an answer.

but these things do have a way of coming back to haunt you just when you are doing the most important things. But then I cant help feeling that I am just trying to escape the reality. Escaping the troubles that are haunting me. Did i just leave something behind cause i wanted to run away from it. I dont know. I dont think I want to know. The answer to that scarier than the thought itself.

anyways there is lots of work to do! Let me atleast reap some since I am sowing pretty hard

Uncle Pai

2008-10-04T22:48:00.000-07:00

Remeber Uncle Pai from Tinkle. I have grown up reading Uncle Pai's answers to kids and reading Tinkle and Amar chitra Kadha.

Here is a recent interview of Anant Pai.

Enjoy!

Uncle Pai's interview

Perhaps Perhaps

2008-09-25T20:14:00.000-07:00

though I first got to know the song from the show "COupling" I have grown to absolutely love the song and it is here. check it out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaCK34LmvTE&feature=related

Current Playlist

2008-09-21T13:52:00.001-07:00

The playlist ranges from old melodies like Tamizhukkum amudenru per to early 90's Kamal's songs to ARR melodies.

Of particular greatness is "Nee daya Radha" by Yesudas in Vasantha bhairavi from sindubhairavi. Do listen to that one.

Mirrored my thoughts

2008-09-17T09:17:00.002-07:00

Check this out.
Its awesome
http://xkcd.com/137/

http://artfiles.art.com/images/-/Trainspotting-Poster-C10290987.jpeg

Digressing

2008-09-16T21:54:00.000-07:00

I have always wondered how it would be if I were to pen down all my thoughts. disastrous i decided later.

how can someone be such a bundle of contradictions. Wanting neither this nor that. How can even the smallest things be so complicated. I have always believed in making the easiest of decisions and most of the times, I do do that. But its the thoughts that you have when you are alone, knowing you will be alone many a time is what is scary.

Its not the being alone in any other context. Everyone needs to spend time alone and they inevitably will, like it or not. What are those moments for? Are they supposed to teach us something? Are they supposed to let us reflect on our actions or even our thoughts ? I do not know. All I know is sometimes I think I am way too screwed up, but then I think maybe not. Maybe everyone is a bundle of contradictions, everyone has weird thoughts not many speak about it! You never know.

THe one thing I like about this blogspace is how it lets me ramble. Many times I feel Doogie Howser penning down his journal after every day. I can digress all I want, a luxury my creating writing space doesnt give me. All I say is the only thing I seem to be doing right is Digress!

Maybe my intuition knows the right path and makes me digress and my consious mind thinks my intuition is an ass.

What a word, Maybe!

Create Memories

2008-09-14T13:59:00.000-07:00

Memories are pretty awesome. They make you think, rethink, enjoy , savor the moments that you hold precious. I have read even written about the power of memories, thier great healing powers and the ability memories have in bringing you out of a particularly bad mood.

Today I feel otherwise. I rather have the people around me rather than surrounding myself with memories. I rather create memories than relive them!

The no risk me

2008-09-09T14:44:00.000-07:00

I cannot stand things that i thought will happen to get delayed. I know the reactions I am gonna get. Its going to be more like"Duh! neither does anyone else".

But with me, I get really nervous and tensed . All within me ofcourse, I do not act jittery to the world.

This is to me is one such time. I am getting very jittery. Wish me luck cause I badly and mind you badly need it.

Laugh!

2008-09-05T22:21:00.000-07:00

Laugh at people who think you can never be an achiever!
Laugh at their thought that they are achievers.
If one cannot understand that there is a world of potential outside of him.
Laugh at his doom!

Justice - Directly related to Media Mayhem?

2008-09-03T16:16:00.000-07:00

With the Sanjeev Nanda conviction , one is almost forced to believe in the Indian Judicial System again. The only blocker is the time though. Nine years to convict a guy who killed 6 people including 4 policemen is just too long. 4 policemen! All because Mr.Nanda is a rich brat and can afford a BMW when he is 19 and not only that, can also afford bumping off a few innocent people along the way.

But all is not lost, right from Jessica Lal to the poor girl who was raped and killed by an advocate to the guy who was bumped off because he was dating a politician's daughter to this, each of these cases have had justice meted out.

There are two factors though. One each of these cases have had a heavy media support. Jessica Lal's case was a classic example. It was almost like the the judiciary did not have a choice.Second, is the sheer time it has taken for justice to be served. It does not take a rocket scientiest to find evidence for the fact that a model was killed in front of a lot of people for just refusing to serve a drink, or to convict a guy who just did a bad reverse killing 6 people. What this clearly means is money and power plays a big role and there is obstruction of justice interms of obliterating evidence.

As much happy as I am that the bereaved have at least obtained closure and can finally put this behind them and move on and that it seems after 61 years that we can begin to trust out judiciary, it is scary that such heavy media interferance is needed for justice. Justice that is promised to the common man by virtue of a democracy.

It is not just Manu Sharma's and Sanjeev Nanda's who need conviction, it is also the tens of policemen lawyers, judges and middle men who played a meaty role in destruction of evidence and obstruction of justice who need to punished. That would be sending a clear signal. Until then its going to take another zillion years for Salman Khan to get a conviction.

Need a different planet -For Idiots!

2008-08-29T12:13:00.000-07:00

So, here I am in a fun setting meeting new people and obviously enjoying myself.

But then going by Murphy's law , how can anything that is nice and fun remain so for an extended period of time, so then I meet Idiot1.

Idiot1 makes a totally stupid, irreverent and irritating remark (Which makes him an idiot in the first place). I am so pissed and irritated that I say something back but obviously not good enough. I sort of kicked myself later for not doing a much better job at a retort.

The irritating thing about idiot1 and a few other similar people are that they think they are American the moment they land in America. Point for all the wannabe Americans.

No you are not an American and will never be. You are and will always be the person that you were brought up as for 20 years. So get over it. No amount of stupid accent, irritating attitude is going to change things. You are a Desi. Be proud of it and act like one for god's sake.

And please talk the right things. Knowing one or two things about a person does not make you an expert at knowing the person . Talking like an idiot does not make you a foreigner. If anything , they know the right things to say and are very very very respectful.

I just hope we pick up all idiots and hypocrites and irritating back biters and put them in a planet and give them no internet! Best way to kill them.

As for me, I will go back to ignoring them like I have been doing for 8 years now.
If you are irritating enough, you don't come in to my frame. And I give a tuppence for people not in my frame. I don't even believe in acknowledging them. Well if you are not in my frame of people I like or respect, you don't exist!

A finger to you idiots!

And if you have something like your own business, why don't you go ahead and mind it.

My Latest Crush!

2008-08-24T18:33:00.000-07:00

This guy is pretty awesome! He is smart, good, and like Steve Martin says in Pink Panther "Cant you see he's sexy" .

The guy can act pretty well do and dances great. So here is a new kid in the block who has a good potential to make it big!

A thousand times over

2008-08-23T11:13:00.000-07:00

So, another farewell and another day of reliving memories, another day wondering why things change , another day when you hate changes, another day when you swear to yourself that you will not let changes affect you. All in vain.

On a positive note though, its another day when you realize why some people are worth all the questions that come in your mind, why some people are worth all the sorrow and simply why some people are worth being missed!

Being a simple person who just wants good times to be back, I just want 839 and 821 to be back and want the fall and spring 2008 to be back.

Bhaiyya, Hari,Rahul, Akshay,Sriram,Vijay. You will all be missed. Tons.

For you all a thousand time over! ( Kite Runner )

What is Home?

2008-08-20T16:21:00.000-07:00

So being back in Tucson after a three month long hiatus confused me a little. The moment I opened my door to my house and subsequently to my room, I had this great feeling of "Ahh, home at last".

My californian abode was bliss. I had a great furnished apartment, I had television, I had every kitchen utensil one can think of, i even had a wine bottle opener. It was comfort in its best form and the icing on the cake was I had a house cleaner!

Being back in tucson in my dirty little room , full of clothes everywhere did not for one moment made me cringe. I was elated at being back. To my room, to my house, to my friends!

The feeling of home though confused me. Should I not feel that when I get back to Madras. Surprisingly enough, the feeling of home I had in Madras did not match the one I had when I reached Tucson. Maybe its the fact that when I was in Madras I always knew that I was getting back.

This though is not considering the people involved. When you involve them it becomes a different ball game. Home is where I can get my morning milk in my hand, where I get to hear my mom's divine songs every morning, when I get to see my dad read the morning papers trying to shoo away the occasional crow, when I see my brother rushing to school shouting at all of us for forgetting to wake him up early, when I see perimma packing my lunch with utmost love, when I turn on NDTV and listen to 'breakfast news'

Where does this leave Tucson then. I guess thats why they have the phrase "Home away from Home"

Dilbert!

2008-08-14T15:43:00.000-07:00

I simply love Dilbert. Anyone who has worked in an IT firm will love Dilbert.
Sometimes the way Scott Adams describes some situations is almost uncanny. I often been like "Whoa, that was my day"!

I stumbled upon this one and absolutely loved it. Its one on an India intern who is from IIT. Its funny . Some find it offensive , I think its just funny if taken in a light vein.

தமிழ்

2008-08-05T10:34:00.000-07:00

தமிழுக்கும் அமுதென்று பேர் அந்த
தமிழ் இன்பத் தமிழ் எங்கள் உயிருக்கு நேர்

தமிழுக்கும் நிலவென்று பேர் இன்பத்
தமிலஎங்கள் சமுகத்தின் விளைவுக்கு நீர்

தமிழுக்கும் மணமென்று பேர் இன்பத்
தமிழ் எங்கள் வாழ்வுக்கு நிருமித்த ஊன்

தமிழுக்கும் மதுவென்று பேர் இன்பத்
தமிழ் எங்கள் உரிமைக்கும் பயிருக்கு வேர்

தமிழ் எங்கள் இளமைக்கு பால் இன்பத்
தமிழ் நல்ல புகழ் மிக்க புலவர்க்கு வேல்

தமிழ் எங்கள் உயர்வுக்கு வான் இன்பத்
அசதிக்கு சுடர் தந்த தேன்

தமிழ் எங்கள் அறிவுக்கு தோள் இன்பத்
தமிழ் எங்கள் கவிதைக்கு வைரத்தின் வாள்

தமிழ் எங்கள் பிறவிக்கு தாய் இன்பத்
தமிழ் எங்கள் வளமிக்கு உளமுற்ற தீ

--பாரதிதாசன் . இதை விட அழகாக தமிழை யாவராலும் பட இயலாது

Sad but True

2008-08-04T14:06:00.000-07:00

So the post about passion that I wrote a few days back got me a lot of feedback. Not on the blog though but otherwise. And I was surprised by many people reassuring me that I was not.

However the events that have preceded have led me to believe that though I do not agree that i am dispassionate, I do agree that somehow things I start do not get complete or do not meet the end goal that I want them to meet. I dont know why? but that's just how it is.

So I wanted to learn driving and get a license before I got out of California and it so happens that I cant without having sufficient address proof which I do not have. :(
Go gone!

And I really wanted to learn Tennis before I went back to Tucson and that is gone too thanks to sheer laziness :(

So hear goes I guess I am to blame for a greater part of things. Its bad. I hope I change one day . I really do.

Lessons

2008-08-01T09:08:00.000-07:00

I have always thought I had a way with writing. It is by no means a pompous statement or anything. It is one of the very few things that I think I am good at. So i have always had this urge to do stories that split over many parts. More because I have seen people doing it and it was one of those " I should do that too"

But then just as you do it , you know its going to be bad because you are not writing because you want to for the idea of the plot but you are writing for the fancy of something else other than the story. Now I should have known that it was definitely a recipie for failure. I mean I know these things. That is why many times I think i should be in marketing. I can sometimes read what will work with people and what wont!
But the sheer hours that goes in to marketing prevent me from thinking about it.

Anyways enough digression. I have never felt bad about any post I have written only because I was true to the plot. The one time I was not, it was a big failure. And I dont feel bad. Its another lesson learnt and a very important lesson too. Writing is very very important to me and I am taking every lesson very seriously!

I guess when you are too full of yourself and too smug, you always get a snub from up above telling you that you are still not as awesome as you think!!!

Role Models

2008-07-30T15:50:00.000-07:00

I have never been a fan of role models. No, this is no attempt at trying to look cool or anything . Just that I have always thought of it as a ego letdown to try and be someone or follow someone or simply wanting to be someone.I strongly believe in not following anyone from tip to toe on making our lives. Each one of us are so different.Following anyone absolutely can only result in mega disappointments. Having said this, its however very useful to listen to a lot of people and see which parts of their lives maybe makes more sense to us.

In a sense my whole idea changed yesterday when I heard Brad Smith -CEO Intuit Inc speak yesterday. In my view he took public speaking to a different level. I have heard many speakers do the "Things I have learned.." speech but this one kicked every other speech's ass.It was the perfect way to speak. The deck( powerpoint slides, a very popular california lingo, i learned) just had pictures and the main idea and he cruised through them with very interesting stories. I mean very!THe sheer energy the guy brought to the table was brilliant. Adding to that , he had a really cool southern accent. I dont know why people regard that as bad. I thought it was pretty cool. Made him stand out from the rest like he said. I absolutely loved it.

There were a lot of things he said during the talk that made me go wow. I definitely had a lot of takeaways from that talk. I was not going to make him my role model. No. but there were so many things from that talk that could be applicable to life as such which was awesome. I am definitely going to be remembering the stuff he said and try to implement them. That is for sure.Only because what he conveyed and the way he conveyed them was just out of the world. And a huge thing I learnt was how to give a talk. This is a talk , not any of those other, I-am-reading-from-the-deck ones.

Wow. I loved it. He was amazing. you had to be there to feel the magic.

For What?

2008-07-29T08:38:00.000-07:00

It is getting out of bounds. With more than 25 bombs in 2 days, this is sheer insanity.

Whoever is doing it, whatever noble reasons you have to be doing it. Think about it for a minute.You are not thinking about your mother when you are bombing a hospital. You are not thinking about you wife when you bombing a market place. You are not thinking about your son when you bomb a train. You are not thinking about your daughter when you are bombing a mall. If you have none of these , you are not thinking about orphans you are creating just like you . If you have had a miserable life, why would you want to create other ones like you who will probably have a miserable life like you did. If you were promised eternal martyrdom and 40 virgins and blessings by god, you have obviously been duped. Its sad but true. You have definitely been duped. There cannot be a god who will bless you for killing innocent people. No never.Please make a note of it.You probably have been mistreated and you are avenging for the same. Who are you avenging though? The average guy on the street who has no idea who you are or what happened to you. The small kid in the street who loses his mom or his dad because some faceless person maybe had a wronged life or some faceless person is just trying to earn some money for his family or some stupid person just believes that god is going to bless him for makng him an orphan and spoiling his life forever.

Do you guys who bomb even know what you guys want anymore? How long would it take you guys to realize that you are just pawns, just pawns in a scheme that is run by the lust to acquire more money and power. Of a lust that you are not a part of and never will be. You are the smallest part of the scheme. The most easily dispensable. You are a small dirt in their scheme whom they just use to achieve what they want and then get you done with. And the brilliant part of the scheme is that you are happy to do that yourself. You willingly become the most un needed part of the scheme. You happily let yourself be used and in the process become liable for ultimate liability for ultimate sin. Let me assure you of one thing. Be it a islam or a hindu or any other religion, when you finish your useless and sinful existence here kiling innocent lives and reach up above rest assured, its not martyrdom or virgins looking at you, its God fuming at you and burning you to ashes and condemning you and your kith and kin eternal doom. That is the only thing that comes out of innocent killing.

For one moment stop everything you are doing and look at the person next to you as a human being , a real person instead of looking at him as another suicide bomb.

Sing is King!!!

2008-07-23T12:13:00.000-07:00

When I went to check out CNN IBN news for my daily dose of Desi news,I saw this slogan everywhere.

Singh is King.

This was because the UPA won the trust vote and are still staying in govt without the left supporting them form outside. Good riddance I say. The left has always been a party that has stopped and curbed growth just for the heck of it.

Once can just hope that the government now goes ahead and implement some of the economic reforms that were previously stalled by the left.

The biggest loser in this battle seems to be Indian Democracy. All those who saw the video where MP's showcased bundles and bundles of cash in the parliament house claiming the samajwadhi party tried to bribe them was a slap in the face for our country. Where do these assholes crop up from? I simply cannot fathom.

Nevertheless I thought the Tag line was pretty cool Singh is King. :)

Brilliance

2008-07-21T10:56:00.001-07:00

பேச எண்ணி சில நாள் அருகில் வருவேன்
பின்பு பார்வை போதும் என நான் நினைத்தே நகர்வேன்

In English
I come forward to speak my heart out to you,
I then realize that looking in to your eyes is magic enough and move ahead.

Sheer Brilliance. The lyrics are from the song 'Kangal Irandal' from the movie
Subramaniyapuram. The song is beautiful, and lyrics are sheer magic.

The two lines especially are magnificient.I am besotted with this song :)

Drive against Fear

2008-07-21T08:45:00.000-07:00

Its time to over come fears and face the reality.
And I am taking a baby step.I need every support I can get to continue doing what I am about to do.

Of course I do, after all I am going to start learn to drive. Knowing how direction impaired I am,naturally I am scared :P

Passion less

2008-07-20T20:38:00.000-07:00

Recently a really good friend of mine told me that I lack passion in almost anything I do. Its something to think about is it not? Like its not a great thing to possess or a bad thing to not posses.For once I did not think or retaliate back with "So what? Whoever says having passion is the best thing or the right thing?"

It got me thinking. So I started to think about things and see of I could find something to refute that claim. Here goes,

I learned singing for 10 years but never managed to give concerts ,neither am I concert quality. I love singing and I am pretty darn good. I have an album. I have been in orchestra's. So maybe if I had more passion I could have been something. I don't know.

I used to be good at painting at school. I always like art classes and won a few small school prizes.I liked it too. I loved drawing and painting . I still have a bunch of sketches I made in my diaries back home. I was never mind blowing like a few people I know but I was good. Maybe with a little more passion,I could have been better.

I really loved playing the veena. I learned for 3 years and was ok at it. No I was not great but I was good. And I absolutely loved it.But never did anything with it.
Maybe it was the lack of passion.

I have worked for about 2 years and I like what I do. I really do. But I dont think I am furiously passionate about it. A thing to note here is what does not being passionate mean. According to me , it by no means says that i do sub standard work. Nope. A thing about me thanks to my mom and my dad is that Whatever I do, I absolutely strive to do the best. Simply because at the end of the day, I feel super satisfied. Be it an unfinished piece of work, even if its someone else's responsibility.I love sticking to deadlines and finishing them way before the deadlines. It helps me go the extra mile.I love doing any job I take completely. The motto has always been to borrow my dad's words "Anything you do even if its cleaning the carpet, the other person should not come and find a fault with it". I absolutely believe it and always work towards it. Sometimes I think if thats a passion of sorts. I don't know. Just a thought.

A small thing that I realized I have a huge passion about is writing. Right from the time I was a kid, I started writing poems and stories. I still have my diaries where I wrote those in 4th and 6th standards and it makes me smile. Can you believe it, I even started writing a novel in parts!!I know. I started blogging seriously in feb last year and since then have been a very avid blogger. Passionate? Yes definitely.I absolutely love doing it and it lets me express myself . It is an amazing experience.
I have never gone a month without a story. I don't force a story, Its always something I see or hear that generates it. nevertheless i take that as a good thing.

Its just that the whole " you - are-not-passionate" thing has made me flustered.
I did not like hearing it and certainly did not want to believe it.Still though, a part of me feels that my friend was right. I need more passion in things I do, I guess. I don't know, all I know is that its going to be one hell of a war between me and my laziness in getting out of my couch. But I guess i need to do it, if not anything to at least prove this friend wrong. It works well for me, the whole " Not passionate, In your face dude'.

You will know the day when I say that.

Encapsulating Life

2008-07-18T14:16:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: The below post has excess amount of coding jargon especially JAVA in it.Yes,it was perfectly intentional and No, I have not lost it.

Encapsulation is pretty awesome. At least in terms of OO its pretty amazing. All I need to know is what to call and whom to divert the call to, not the how do they get it aspect. I absolutely love the way it makes my life easy. It was an awesome transition from trying to debug a COBOL program on a mainframe whose author probably is dead and looking up(definitely up) at me laughing at my futile attempt.

It was then when it stuck me as to how would it be if we were all encapsulated. Most of our functions are already encapsulated aren't they. You call maid service,you call the plumber, you call car wash on your car, you call send money on parents, you call love on your partner.But wait a minute, do we want them all encapsulated. Imagine if everything you have is the getters and setters , yeah you get everything, but you have no clue how you are getting anything?

I guess the whole idea is as long the person gives you the service in the same way you have always always wanted you simply don't care how the person does it. Does he change himself once every few days,minutes,seconds. Nope you absolutely don't give a damn. And its not like you can know that even if you wished, its because everyone else is so "private" about it.All that is public is what you can get and what you can specify. That is like having a pamphlet in front of the door, asking you to fill it and get out without coming in to the house to see what people are doing or how are they doing anything.

Would you like that? Doesn't give you a personal feeling right? True. That is why anything machine like will never work for us. Simply because we are such complex beings with a even more complex thought process that it is almost impossible to discern how we react to various circumstances. Its like how can you define a function whose return type can be just about anything under the sun. Can you handle all the possibilities. Of course you cant even if you handle the most scariest of all the null pointer. I guess the point i am trying to make underneath all these super geeky stuff is that we are simply above and beyond machines in ways more than one that how much ever we try to create human like creatures we might not succeed, because for a whole bunch of things, we dont know ourselves how we would react!

Sloppy Clumsy and more Clumsy

2008-07-17T09:39:00.000-07:00

Whenever I watch Friends or Everybody loves Raymond is wonder how can someone be so clumsy. Like Racheal or Ray or Elliot in Scrubs.But then I had this brainwave. Wait a minute I am as bad as them if not worse.

I dont know how it happens. But it always does.If not the mountains of yougurt, then its my badge getting in to the coffee when I am trying to make coffee.And zillions of other stupid silly things that completely make me look like a fool. And the worst part of the whole thing is its always in front of someone. Its like you want to look up and scream "Why? Why me?" a la-Joey style.

My theory however to the whole sloppy thing is basically the rush we are all in atleast I am in. Its the total lack of patience whatsoever in doing anything. Like for most of the clumsy stuff that I do, if i had taken a minute to act slowly it probably would not have happened.Having anlaysed it though, do I think its not going to happen again ?

Ofcourse not. I am realist ;) I am going to have much more of the yogurt incidents, That i am sure of.Nevertheless I am just glad that it is not an irreversible condition or something. With a little effort I can probably be the person on the other side who gets to see someone clumsy.

But wait a minute , what if its a vicious cycle ????

Rhyme and Rythm

2008-07-12T19:04:00.000-07:00

So, yesterday I spent some time with family friends. They have a small kid who is in the age when nursery rhymes are fun. I was watching some of the rhymes with him and he is right. They were seriously fun.

It was then I heard the most popular nursery rhymes of all times, Ring -a - Ring -a Roses.Well at least that is what I thought. So my memory of the rhyme goes like this.

Ring - a - Ring - a - Roses
Pocket full of roses
Husha Busha
We all fall down.

Now laugh as much as you want people but this is what every kid brought up in madras will tell you. So you can imagine the shock i had when I saw a bunch of farm animals singing ring - a ring -a roses in a totally different way. Since the whole nursery rhyme incident seriously injured my ego, i decided to Google my way through and find some origins and stories associated with nursery rhymes. Some of you who are in the mood for some sarcasm can also alternatively term it as heights of boredom on a Saturday afternoon. Whatever. Here goes my analysis.

Ring - Around- The-Roses (Yeah you heard it right!)

This is the original rhyme.

Ring around the rosy
A pocketful of posies
"Ashes, Ashes"
We all fall down!

This is the one that is taught nowadays with mild changes.

Ring-a-Ring o'Rosies
A Pocket full of Posies
"A-tishoo! A-tishoo!"
We all fall Down!

So how did this rhyme come in to being. Well there was a time when England was affected by the Bubonic plague or Black Death. The symptom of the disease was rosy rash in the skin in the shape of a ring.It was believed that the disease was spread by bad smells hence people carried flowers and nice smelling stuff in their pockets which they believed will ward off the disease.Ashes according to many refers to the cremation of the bodies once they fall dead because of the disease. Hence you see the rhyme.

The other version has mild changes including the 'o' instead of 'of' and the Atishoo which signifies sneezing. Sneezing was also considered to be a symptom of the disease.

So the rhyme essentially describes a disease that killed many people during the 14th and the 17th century. Now why would we teach that to children and make them go round in circles happily sort of escapes my mind. Differing thoughts are more than welcome.
I just found it funny that Husha Busha and Atishoo sound so different.

Baa Baa Black sheep

Now this has always been a good rhyme. I mean i like this rhyme. And the reason I thought this was taught was to generally teach that sheep's make sounds like that and that wool is derived from sheep. So general knowledge basically. And my googling did prove it right.

But Baa Baa Black sheep also has some interesting subtle points to note. Apparently the English customs authorized the King( in this rhyme the "master") to levy tax on all wool exports in the country. The actual Rhyme is found below

Baa baa black sheep, have you any wool?
Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full!
One for the master, one for the dame,
And one for the little boy who lives down the lane.

I was glad when I read this. Atleast it was the same rhyme.

Mary had a little lamb

Now this was a shocker.Why? Go on read this

Mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow;
And everywhere that Mary went, the lamb was sure to go.
It followed her to school one day, which was against the rule;
It made the children laugh and play, to see a lamb at school.
And so the teacher turned it out, but still it lingered near,
And waited patiently about till Mary did appear.
"Why does the lamb love Mary so?" the eager children cry;
"Why, Mary loves the lamb, you know" the teacher did reply.

Ok now all of you who have heard this rhyme completely in school raise your hands.
Just as I expected. No hands.Well I appreciate the honesty. Ok I will cut the crap and go to the history of this rhyme. This is where I laugh. Apparently Mary had a little lamb's history could not be traced. All we know is that it was written by an American. Now if you see a similarity between the lack of history, I just want to say, i did not say it.

But what is very interesting about this rhyme is this piece of information.
In the 1830s, Lowell Mason set the nursery rhyme to a melody written by Mozart[citation needed], adding repetition in the verses:(Wiki)

So the theory is Mary actually took the lamb to school one day, well just like that like how people take pets to work these days. And one of the guys at school wrote a poem about it and gave it to Mary. It is supposed to have contained 3 paragraphs.

I would really suggest this link for more on Mary had a little lamb.

London Bridge is Falling down

This own is pretty darn good. So London Bridge is one of the most famous landmarks in London. This rhyme's origin can be traced back to a long time ago when the London bridge was first constructed. So the first London bridge was using wood and clay and subsequently rebuilt using all of the materials quoted in the rhyme.
Hence the rhyme sort of takes a child through the various stages of the London brige's legacy.

In early 1820's a new London bridge was built in another site and opened in 1831 while the old one was demolished. Again in 1860's they built another London bridge(I know!!!) and this 1831 bridge was moved stone by stone to Lake Havasu,Arizona.

London Bridge is falling down,
Falling down, falling down,
London Bridge is falling down,
My fair Lady.

Build it up with wood and clay,
Wood and clay, wood and clay,
Build it up with wood and clay,
My fair Lady.

Wood and clay will wash away,
Wash away, wash away,
Wood and clay will wash away,
My fair Lady.

Build it up with bricks and mortar,
Bricks and mortar, bricks and mortar,
Build it up with bricks and mortar,
My fair Lady.

Bricks and mortar will not stay,
Will not stay, will not stay,
Bricks and mortar will not stay,
My fair Lady.

Build it up with iron and steel,
Iron and steel, iron and steel,
Build it up with iron and steel,
My fair Lady.

Iron and steel will bend and bow,
Bend and bow, bend and bow,
Iron and steel will bend and bow,
My fair Lady.

Build it up with silver and gold,
Silver and gold, silver and gold,
Build it up with silver and gold,
My fair Lady.

Silver and gold will be stolen away,
Stolen away, stolen away,
Silver and gold will be stolen away,
My fair Lady.

Set a man to watch all nigh,
Watch all night, watch all night,
Set a man to watch all night,
My fair Lady.

Suppose the man should fall asleep,
Fall asleep, fall asleep,
Suppose the man should fall asleep?
My fair Lady.

Give him a pipe to smoke all night,
Smoke all night, smoke all night,
Give him a pipe to smoke all night,
My fair Lady.
London bridge is falling down Nursery Rhyme

Jack and Jill

This is quite a popular rhyme right one that brings a smile when you say it. Not if you know how this came about.
So Jack and Jill in this story represent King Louis KVI and Queen Mary Antonoitte of France. This song is actually talking about their execution during the revolution.That is what "lost his crown" and "Tumbling after" is supposed to mean. Since they decided to make it a rhyme they decided to make it a happy ending and not keep the bloody ending.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down and broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.
Up got Jack, and home did trot
As fast as he could caper
He went to bed and bound his head
With vinegar and brown paper.

Three Blind Mice

This rhyme too like all others takes reference from England's monarchy.
So here goes long long ago, so long ago, but when I knew how long it was, like around 1500, there was this Queen Mary also called bloody Mary (no, No not the drink people) was a catholic and pulled a la Hitler on a lot of protestants. That is she burnt alive a lot of protestants.

This rhyme speaks of 3 protestants who decided to knock her off pretty much , but she found and forgave them ,realized her folly and lived a kinder soul. Really?
No of course not, she burnt them alive.Pay attention people ;)

Three blind mice, three blind mice,
See how they run, see how they run,
They all ran after the farmer's wife,
Who cut off their tails with a carving knife,
Did you ever see such a thing in your life,
As three blind mice?

Twinkle Twinkle Little Start

Well this rhyme thankfully has no crazy people-burning queen or falling bridges. This is just what I would call a rhyme. Teaches children about the the sky and the stars . This poem is also hailed because of its good use of similies like "Like a diamond".Here is the full poem .Again we have just learnt a smaller version of this.

Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are?
Up above the world so high , like a diamond in the sky
When the blazing sun is gone, when he nothing shines upon,
Then you show your little light, twinkle, twinkle all the night.
Then the traveller in the dark, thanks you for your tiny spark,
He could not see which way to go, if you did not twinkle so.
In the dark blue sky you keep, and often through my curtains peep,
For you never shut your eye, 'till the sun is in the sky.
As your bright and tiny spark lights the traveller in the dark,
Though I know not what you are - twinkle, twinkle little star.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

This is a really good story. Nah seriously. So Humpty like you and me think, is not a nice fat guy with a really funny face like the nursery rhyme books depict. He is actually a cannon! Yeah a cannon.

So the story goes like this.During the english civil war in 1648, the city Colchester was being surrounded by parliamentarians. So this city was protected by a city wall and a Church. A cannon, our dear big Humpty was kept next to the church.
Sometime later during the war the fort around the church was blown in to pieces by the parliamentarians and the cannon was destroyed. After a siege of 11 days, the royalists surrendered to the parliamentarians.

So the rhyme talks about how Humpty had a great fall and even after all the royalists i.e "All the king's horses and all the king;s men" tried to mount it on another part of the wall, they could not succeed because of its weight. Hence the poem . Pretty neat huh.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the King's horses, And all the King's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again!

So sitting with a child for about ten minutes made wonder why I leanrt all these and how I still remember all of thm. I thought it would be fun to learn more about them and it turned out to be one hell of an experience , reading about so much stuff.I could go on with about dozen other rhymes but well the post has to end somewhere. Hope you guys had as much fun reading it as I had writing it.

Wow, that was a really good acceptance speech ;)Well yeah I missed the " I have to thank my chihuahua" thing.

Ok but seriously, this effort was complemeted by lot of googling, wiking and this one really cool site - Nursery Rhymes and Origins

Food For Thought

2008-07-11T10:08:00.000-07:00

I was blog hopping when I happened to check this article .

http://akhtariitkan.blogspot.com/

A decent article which when read with an open mind clears a lot of misconceptions and helps one to look at issues in a different perspective.

I for a moment decided to read the article from the writer's perspective. I could understand the reason that forced him to research the topic in such depths and quote and provide numerous examples to support his views.

Being a pious, devout and good Muslim does not prevent the rest of the world from casting aspersions or viewing them with fear. That is the curse of stereotypes. It is sad. But the reality.

Human beings cannot prevent stereotyping. Our perceptions are based on what we hear and what we see. Every terrorist attack that one hears of or reads is by an Islamic group.If 26% of the world population is responsible for every terrorist attack which is cold blooded killing of innocent people,it is really hard for people to not form stereotypes.

The link above explains the Quran and gives us excerpts on misunderstood things like jihad . I guess the question to ask is, who misunderstood it? A non Muslim does not know much about Quran just like how a non Hindu does not know much about the Gita. It is misunderstood and misinterpreted by fundamentalists who preach the young unadulterated minds, lure them by promising matyrism among many other things. They need to understand it.

A religion is a way of life. It exists to make us culturally discipline people. Every religion preaches the same. Being morally obligated to god. Every religion upholds the supremacy of a human life. Hinduism does,Islam does too.

At every age some one is oppressed by someone else. The solution to that is not mass murdering of innocent people and convincing oneself that it is quoted in their religious writings.

To a great part I agree with the writer. Islam has become a very misunderstood religion. But not without reason. Its fundamentalist Muslims who need to take a step back and go back to their roots and see what the Quran really quotes and why theirs is the religion that it is.

What a birthday!

2008-07-01T09:42:00.000-07:00

I assumed it would be a dud as I thought I was away from family and friends but then life proved me wrong again.

I have always been blessed with good friends wherever I go. I would like to believe its a combination of excellent assessment skills(:)) and divine intervention. The birthday turned out to be a pretty good one thanks to a few really nice people who totally made my day.

It just reiterated my faith that its the people that make all the difference in our lives. Right from a frown to a bright smile that could lit up the sky! I think I ha done of those smiles yesterday :)

Scared

2008-06-26T09:25:00.001-07:00

I have a feeling about things going really wrong.
I hope it remains a feeling.

My turn?

2008-06-19T23:02:00.001-07:00

Mera number kab ayega?

private final static Happiness!

2008-06-19T14:43:00.000-07:00

If its a state of mind, why does one have to try that hard to be happy.
Why does one have to tell herself so man times to be happy!
If you really tell yourself 10 times a day that you should be happy
and reiterate that everything is in its place, are you really happy then?
Or are you cheating you.
If in case you are cheating yourself, then what really is the default state of mind.

Cant I make my happiness variable static final!
I don't want it to be overridden.

Hmph!

2008-06-16T21:06:00.000-07:00

So much for hope.As much as I believe in it, life does have a weird way of making you lose your grit.Maybe its the way god checks if you really mean what you say.Its at moments like these I think I should always hope. Even when the most recent event makes me want to give up hope and curl and cry.

Maybe its the fact that I have always believed in "never let the other guy get the satisfaction he wanted by giving up".

So there you go. In your face,I might curl and cry but that does not make me weak.I believe I grow with every tear I shed. I wipe away my fear and get ready to face the reality.

Hope

2008-06-16T08:51:00.001-07:00

It is a week of hope.
I at least hope so!

Happy Father's Day Dad

2008-06-15T19:55:00.000-07:00

Thanks Dad , For making all the difference in the world to me.

Thanks Dad, for all the beautiful moments that remain etched in my memory.

Thanks Dad, for teaching me to hope.

Thanks Dad, For teaching me to be you.

Thanks Dad, for being you.

Happy Father's Day :)

You Rock!

Murphy Or Me ?

2008-06-13T16:36:00.000-07:00

Is it Murphy's Law or is it Me ?

I don't know if many people out there feel that way or not.
But every time I decide to browse through some news articles (OK! fine gossip columns) or decide to check my mail I find my manager or worse my senior manager or anyone whom you generally don't want looking at your computer at that moment pass by.

And every time I decide to wear my head phones the manager would pass by and further make me feel stupid by wishing or talking to me. Not just here back in HCL too.

Adding to this are incidents like the yogurt mystery that make me want to look up the sky and say "Man Murphy , How miserable was your life???"

The mysterious affair of the yogurt!

2008-06-12T15:57:00.000-07:00

I have always been a great yogurt fan. Well I love icecream and anything remotely related to ice cream and I have packages of yogurt that I simply love to relish when I am watching my Tv shows. Its like this bond that we share. Me and the yogurt.

So when i saw chocolate frozen yogurt at my work place today you can safely assume that I went for it.I was so excited and took a large cup and brought the handle down for the yogurt to fill my cup. I was non greedy enough and put the handle up when I thought I filled my cup. But for some really weird reason the yogurt wending machine decided to bestow upon me its kindness and never stopped. Result - I had a small cup with yogurt piled up thus making it look like a small mountain in my hand.

So you can obviously understand my shock more because of the look people gave me than the yogurt mountain.I wanted to scream and say that I was not that greedy a person. But then I had far more pressing things to do like to stop the yogurt machine from stop vending any more yogurt. So I ran to the nearby lady at the counter and asked her for help. The moment she heard me she rushed to the vending muttering something which I am glad I did not hear.

So she just brought the handle down and magically the vending machine stopped. So I was standing there dumbstruck . What did I do wrong? What did I do to deserve a huge mountain of yogurt in my hand looking like a total fool.So then for some weird reason my mind stopped working and I dint know where to dump the yogurt. I really wanted to make myself tiny enough to stop people looking at me like I was an alien or something.So finally I dumped the yogurt and went to pay for my food. The lady at the counter looked at me and said "It is just pushing the handle up you know".
I looked her and said solemnly "I really did you know" .She chose to ignore that and made an action telling me how to push the handle down. I looked at her and said "I know , I am really sorry". Well cant blame her for thinking I was retarded!

I then went over finished my lunch and went back thinking about the mystery of the youfurt. But then I am sort of used to looking stupid so I was not really worried about that. Well I just decided that the yogurt machine picked its favorite for the day and I happenec to be the one today!Of all the ways to look at it huh :)