It is not very easy to take negative feedback. It takes tons of patience and the ability to be objective even though your heart is racing and pounding , waiting to scream out loud that you are being persecuted and that you are the best ever in anything you do. the later is almost impossible, cause you can only strive to be best. But once the racing and pounding is over and you settle down a little bit, objectivity becomes more approachable and peace has a chance of reigning.

Still taking in negative criticism is just not easy. Sometimes i think its because of the overachievers that we have grown to become. We have this vision what we should be when we are 25, 30 years old and as those days come closer ( a painful reality) failure seems even more harder to handle.


It becomes more important now than ever to tell oneself that it is okay to fail once in a while It is alright that someone thinks you are not good enough, because all that is going to make you do is be the best at what you do. the one lesson if any that i have learnt after hours and hours of anger and heart break is, if you know you have done the best job that you can, nothing else matters. I could go all spiritual and quote Gita, but then you already know that.

Karma is not always a bitch. You get what you deserve. Atleast I believe I will.

Its time to pull up the socks and do the things that really matter.

Paper and pen,here I come.

I would like to throw something, to vent the frustration. However my iPhone is too expensive, the laptop too heavy, the waterbottle, well it has water and I have to clean the mess if it spills, the TV remote would be a bad one cause then I will be left without television, talk about punishing oneself,the book, well, I just love them too much to throw them with a vengence. that leaves me with my hair crispee. It makes for a pathetic show of frustration. My frustration is frustrated.

Ah! Problems

The problem as I have discovered is this desire to do everything,try everything. While it could be a great trait, it most often than not interferes or so I think. When I am painting, I want to stitch and when I am stitching I have this great idea for a story and when I am writing, I want to try this new baking recipe and when I am baking, well you get the drift.

Its this love to learn and do so many different things that is not letting me be perfect in one thing. I am not sure if I should focus on killing this trait to be more focussed on say a few things. Or maybe I should stage my interests. First 3 months, write, then learn to paint.

I dont know. Its one of those days. Introspection sucks

Never have I realized the importance of concentration as I do now. Back in school, not concentrating was almost fun. It was fun to play tic tac toe in class when the chemistry teacher was trying her best to make 15 year olds understand organic chemistry.  Talk about futile attempts.There was a sense of smug attitude that it could be learnt easily if I spent half an hour at home.

But now, before I can get one task done, I find myself doing all sorts of random things, from facebook, to gmail to twitter to random browsing. It is almost like these things come to my mind only when I sit in front of my laptop trying to get something done. I have never missed concentration more.

Dad says try crossword. That is quickly becoming my last resort.

Eggless Vanilla Cake with Double Chocolate Coconut Frosting

Recently I have taken to baking in a big way, generally because its a lot of fun and its a great excercise in patience that I oh! so lack. I must however credit much of the interest to my room mate. My interest started when I first saw her make a chocolate cake . Since then I have taken baby steps in making cakes and cookies. I am no where close to being awesome like some of my friends. However I want to think I am getting better. I recently made a vanilla cake with chocolate coconut frosting in the shape of a cake for a birthday party. Here is the receipe.


Egg-less Vanilla Cake:

Ingredients:
1 1/2 cup + 2 tbsp - Plain Flour
2 tsp Baking Powder
1 tsp Baking Soda
1 tin (400 gm) Condensed Milk
1 stick Butter
3/4 cup Milk
4 tbsp Yogurt
2 tsp Vanilla Extract

In a mixing bowl, mix the flour, baking powder and baking soda. Mix it well. In another bowl, mix butter, condensed milk, yogurt, vanilla extract and milk. Mix it well to make sure there are no lumps. Add the flour mixture to the liquid mixture little by little. Each time beating it well to make sure there are no lumps.

I used a 9 inch cake pan, it however was a little small. So I suggest using a 10 inch cake pan . It is generally suggested to fill the cake pan 3/4th full, so that there is enough space for the cake to rise.Grease the cake pan well. This is important to make sure the cake does not stick to the pan. Grease it well and you can also use waxing paper after greasing. Pour the cake mix in to it. Set the over to 150C and bake for one hour.
Your cake is done when a toothpick comes out clean from the center of the cake.

Let the cake cool for 10 -15 minutes. Turn it over in to a turntable or a flat surface.Let the cake cool for 10-15 minutes.

Snake Shape:

To get the snake shape, make a circle in the cake using any container top.Press it in to form the impression. Using a knife dipped in hot water, cut along the impression you made. Once this is done. Make horizontal cuts on the hollow cake to get two semi circles. Now you have all the pieces needed for the cake. Refrigerate the cake before you frost it. This is important so that the frosting sticks to the cake.

Thin layer of chocolate frosting:

You can totally skip this if you want to go for just one layer of frosting.

Ingredients
2 pints low fat whipping cream
3 tablespoons cocoa powder
1 1/2 cups confectioner's sugar
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp coconut extract

Mix the whipping cream and cocoa powder and sugar together. Beat to make sure there aren't any lumps. Use less whipping cream and add more depending on the consistency. The recipe i followed suggested three pints whipping cream and my frosting became too thin. Once your frosting becomes thin, adding more sugar does not thicken it. So add less whipping cream and add more if the frosting is too thick. Add more/less cocoa and sugar based on how the frosting tastes. Skip the coconut extract if you don't like coconut.

Take the cake out from the refrigerator and after making sure that is not warm anymore, apply the frosting on top of it. Keep the cake in the snake formation and apply frosting all over the cake.Use  a spatula for ease. Else use anything that has a flat surface that you can use to spread the frosting. Spread the frosting all over the cake. Refrigerate again. I actually let it stay overnight. You don't have to.

Second layer of chocolate frosting

Ingredients:
1 1/2 cup confectioner's sugar
2-3 tbsp cocoa
3 tbsp evaporated milk
3 tbsp butter

Mix them well together to avoid lumps. Mix until you get a creamy mixture. Add more sugar and cocoa to make the frosting thicker if needed. Like the previous time, spread the frosting evenly over the entire cake with a spatula. Use M and M's , jelly beans, gummy worms to complete the look.

Reference:
http://www.divinetaste.com/archives/eggless-vanilla-cake-with-cocoa-butter-frosting/
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Creamy-Chocolate-Frosting/Detail.aspx

Much as been said about the movie, much more have been read. I am going to keep away from reviewing the movie and rather talk about where the movie worked ,where it could have worked better and why it is going to leave a good after taste. 

For starters, I thought the opening credits were brilliant.It just set the tone for what followed next. Though the movie  starts with a disclaimer like all other Mani movies, it was clear from the beginning that this was Mani's interpretation of a slice of the great epic, Ramayana. 


Going in  , I knew what the plot was about, just like one knew what Thalapathi was . Did anyone notice the striking resemblance in locations between Thalapathi and this? Following Nayagan,Thalapathi , in this movie too, Mani makes the bad guy the protogonist and tries to examine the different shades of his character. We all knew Velu Nayakkar was an outlaw,so was Surya and so is Veeraiyya(Vikram). Where Mani succeeds is he steers the audience away from falling in love with his characters, and instead makes them look at the characters from a different lens than the ones they have been using all along. 

In ravannan too, you dont end up falling in love with Veeraiya's character. However you can see where his emotions are coming from. He is enraged with his brother -in-law who ditched his sister, his is enraged with Dev, for ruining his sister's wedding, he is furious with the inspector for ruining her life. You see his thirst for revenge and you understand why he kidnapped Dev's wide. His idea of an eye for an eye. Mani sticked to the epic here, though taking it to the extreme side. ( for the uninitiated, in Ramayana, Ravana kidnaps Sita because his sister Shurpanaka's nose and ears were cut off by the short tempered Laxman) 

It was Ragini's(Sita) spunk that caught his attention first. Had he been just the usual bad guy who would shoot/stab anyone without a second thought, this probably would not have happened. But Veera isnt. He is yet another robinhood,a goodie at heart refusing to follow the rule of law for doing the good that he believes in. Which is why he is unable to kill Ragini, though he tells his brothers and mates, it would be a matter of 14 minutes, before Ragini is dead.

The more time he spends with her, he realizes he is falling for her. Nothing hard to chew here, we have seen leading men fall for heroines for way less than that. Mani stuck to the epic here too, Ravannan did go to kidnap Sita an act of revenge, but the moment he saw her, he was consumed by her beauty, and wanted her more than anything. The scene where Veera plays with the children while asking her to stay with him was masterclass. I noticed a resemblance to Guna here( did anyone?) . 

Was Veera shown in a much better light that he actually was? I dont think so. It was already established that he had in him a streak of badness. Why go in to details about that? Also again going to the epic, Ravanna was a great ruler, he was infact quoted to be the best ruler in Lanka, who took great care of his citizens. He was an extreme devout, a great musician. But we knew he was a bad guy because of the one big mistake he made.Which is exactly why I do not feel, it was necessary to examine the darkness in his character. Why say  more when you can say less?

That is what I thought about Dev(Ram) as well. He was a police officer and the good guy in this case, as he is out to vanguish the evil , or the outlaw (Veera). He is pushed to his limits, when Veera kidnaps his own wife. He is cold and calculating, we are left schocked when he tortures Veera's brother -in-law, not Ram like  behaviour.Dont get him wrong, he loves his wife and is worried sick of her and her safety. But he is not just satisfied with finding her, he wants to destroy Veera, which explains why he acts the way with Veera's  brother(Vibeeshana). That to me was a different take on the Rama we have grown up knowing.

Contrary to many opinions out there, I actually do not think the plot was wafer thin. The plot was  a slice of Ramayanam, and the director's exploration of the different shades in the characters. And like the movie's website reads,  to ultimately point out that there is a little bit of Ravannan in every Rama and vice versa. Looking at it in that sense, I thought the movie stuck to plot we all have been hearing since we were 3, pretty darn well. Also  I thought the characters were well developed. 


Ragini is spunky, at least to others, She is scared, as she accepts and calls for help from her beloved, but she wastes no time in telling people what she thinks. She is temperamental and spontaneous, which Dev exploits at the end. She gets to see the softer side of her captor and we dont know if she has a soft spot for him or not, which Mani carefully left to our interpretation. 


Veera like the ten headed demon king makes it more than obvious of how confused he is with all the voices in his head. He falls in love with another man's wife and finds himself wanting her love, than just wanting her. So much that when he has an opportunity to end it all , he doesnt. He thinks of her at that moment which proves to be his Achilees heel. Veera even agrees for a truce when accused by his brother of throwing it all away for a woman. Something that Ravannan never did.

Not to mention a different take at the end for the classic "Inru Poi Nalai Vaa". I loved that.

There were some tiny things, attention to detail in the movie that I thought were telling of Mani's brilliance. The scene where Karthik says "Pathuten..." a la "Kanden Sithaiyai" ,how Prabhu seemed to be always handling the affairs of food (Kumbhakarna -What a choice? :) ),and the scene between Veera and Karthik(Hanuman) where it was clear that at some point, it turns in to a clash of ego. 

However there were a few things that made me cringe, the need to make Veera an eccentric. It was a  Vikram we have seen probably a hundred times, and Karthik for the role of Hanuman. For as much as he was entertaining, he was always Karthik, and never Forrest, the character. 

There is nothing I can say that hasn't already been said about  the cinematography. Stunning, yes. And yes although Suhasini did a decent job with the dialogues, you couldnt help but wonder what Sujatha would have written. What a loss!

That's it! I thought it was one of the most intelligently done movies in the recent times. I strongly believe despite the early bad reviews, the movie will grow on people and like I said in the beginning leave a good after taste.